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Cruising with Kerri and Lucy
Sometimes I wonder about the things we do for our children. As was the case a few months ago when Kerri asked me to join her and Lucy on a Christian Women's Mother/Daughter Getaway Cruise on February 5. She said it was only 4 days and sailed out of Mobile, Alabama and as she was one of the performers she needed help taking care of Lucy. Now I will do just about anything to spend time with Lucy but I had not been on a ship since my tour of duty on the USS Repose during the Vietnam War and I didn't particularly care to be on the high seas again. I gave all my reasons for not going and Kerri had a positive for each negative. I mentioned my claustrophobia (which I probably got from sleeping in an 8 by 8 room on the Repose for 13 months) and she said she had a suite with a balcony. Then I mentioned medical reasons and she said the ship had a doctor and medical staff 24 hours a day. She could see that I was wavering so used the real clincher. “Mom you can sell your books”. Well that was a powerful incentive so after some prayer and weighing pros and cons I finally told her I would go. She then asked if I had a current passport and I replied that I didn't even know where my passport was and I'm sure it had expired. After a lot of searching I finally located the passport and saw that it expired in 1996 so that meant getting an expedited renewal. I went down to the courthouse and filled out the forms for renewal and the lady said “that will be $190 and no credit cards”. I thought she was kidding, but when she didn't laugh I realized she was serious so wrote her a check and left. I told Dick I had been robbed and didn't even get frequent flyer miles.
Dick and I drove to Mobile on Feb. 4th and met Kerri and Lucy at the airport. I should have gotten an inclination that this was going to be one of our adventures when we made a wrong turn out of the airport supposedly following directions given to us by our hotel. After driving about 10 miles Dick stopped and asked someone how to get to I 10 and the guy said turn around so we retraced those 10 miles and added about 17 more before reaching our hotel. The cruise planners had made reservations for us at a beautiful riverfront hotel close to the docks. As we pulled up in front we noticed a bus with women streaming out and heading into the hotel. I thought to myself that I was glad Kerri was one of the “celebrities” because she was supposed to have an assistant assigned to her for the trip to take care of all the small details like checking into to the hotel. She went inside while I got Lucy out and Dick found a bellhop to get our luggage. When I arrived in the lobby I saw Kerri in the back of the long line of women and when I asked, she said she had to wait with everyone else. So I took Lucy into the bar adjacent to the lobby as that was the only place to sit down. After what seemed like forever Kerri came over with keys to a room on the 12th floor. Did I mention that I don't like heights and elevators? At least it wasn't the 38th floor. Thankfully the porter took us to a service elevator so we didn't have to wait in line for one of the 4 regular elevators. The room was very nice and Kerri opened the curtains to reveal floor to ceiling windows which overlooked the building next door with no view of the river. That didn't bother me as I wasn't getting close to the window anyway.
By that time it was after six and we were starving so decided to brave the cold and walk across the street to a restaurant that a lady on the plane had recommended to Kerri. When we entered the restaurant we realized that it was a bar type establishment and they had no high chairs. So we tried another place down the street with the same results. Guess they didn't like children. We decided to just go back to the hotel restaurant, but when we checked in with the hostess she said there was a 30 minute wait. Since Kerri was supposed to do an early check in for the ship that evening we decided to do that while waiting for a table. We walked up to the next floor to find quite a few of the performers waiting in a line where only one man sat at a table checking people in. The process was taking forever and about that time Robert, the man in charge of celebrity products for the cruise spotted Kerri and came over to tell her that none of her products had arrived. Well Kerri was shocked because she had confirmation that her boxes had arrived in January. That meant my books weren't there either and I might not recover my $190 for my passport renewal. Robert apologized and said he would check their warehouses again, but they could already be on the ship which was on its way back from Mexico and he wouldn't be able to check until the next morning.
Meanwhile someone walked up and asked Kerri if she had heard that the ship had mechanical problems and departure would be delayed for several hours the next day. Since it was the beginning of Mardi Gras week, the hotel was booked and couldn't allow late checkouts. That meant everyone had to sit in the terminal for several hours. Fortunately Dick was with us and had a car so we knew that we would be shopping while everyone else sat on their luggage.
By the time we reached the front of the line and got checked in it was late and we were all exhausted so we decided that Dick would take Lucy up to the room and Kerri and I would go to the bar and order a take-out meal. We ordered a chicken Caesar salad and a cheese plate and sat down to wait.
And wait and wait. After 30 minutes Kerri walked up to the bar tender and asked about our order. He checked the computer and said it had not been sent up to the kitchen. Why was I not surprised? At any rate, another apology and he said for us to go back to our room and he would bring the food up. It was 9:30 by the time our dinner arrived and we were past of the point of being hungry, but ate anyway. Fortunately Kerri had brought toddler food for Lucy so she had been fed earlier.
The next morning we slept late and had a make shift breakfast in our room as we packed. Dick was delaying his trip to Pensacola to stay and take us shopping. He was going to spend time in some of his old stomping grounds from his Navy days while we cruised. I had thoughts of joining him.
Kerri received a call from Robert telling her that he had found her product boxes on the ship and that was a huge relief. He also said the ship would not be boarding until after 3:00 so we had a leisurely lunch and spent time at Stein Mart and Marshal's before heading back to the terminal. Thankfully we found it without any wrong turns. We were met by the cruise personnel who introduced us to Lily who was going to be Kerri's assistant. Lily directed us where to unload luggage and after saying goodbye to Dick we were whisked through a separate line and onto the ship without delay.
Since the ship had been delayed, they were still cleaning all the rooms so we had time to spare. Kerri decided to find the child care facility and talk about their schedule. We discovered that the elevator did not stop on the level with the nursery so Kerri walked up the stairs while I waited with Lucy in the stroller. She came back down to say that the age for the nursery was 2 years, but since there would only be a few children on the cruise they would make an exception for Lucy. Now I ask you, who wouldn't want to spend time taking care of Lucy? We explored the ship while we waited and finally at 5:00 our room was ready. We were pleasantly surprised to open the door to a luxurious suite complete with 2 beds, an L shaped sofa, 2 chairs, walk-in closet, refrigerator, television, large bathroom with Jacuzzi tub, and a nice balcony with 2 chairs. The only problem was that it was freezing and I couldn't find any temperature control. I called the steward who said the control was on the vent in the ceiling so I pushed a table over, climbed up, and tried to turn the air conditioning off but the knob would not turn completely off. I called the steward back and he came in and tried to turn it off but had no success either. He informed us that the ship had no heat and it would heat up the next day when we reached the open seas. In the mean time I tried to stuff toilet paper in the vents to close off the cold air, but it only made a small difference. The next day I discovered that there was a huge space between the balcony door and the casement and air was blowing in from outside.
Next I turned the water on in the bathroom sink and lo and behold brown water poured out and the sink was stopped up. I called housekeeping and they sent up a plumber who plunged the sink and said it was normal for water to be brown at first and to just let it keep running until it cleared up. Well the ship hadn't sailed yet and I still had time to call Dick to come back and pick me up, but I couldn't do that to Kerri and Lucy so I stayed.
Kerri was assigned the early dinner seating at 5:30 but that evening everything was delayed so we hurried to the dining room and were seated at a special table for performers. Candace Cameron (from Full House television show) and her sister, and 4 members of a young Christian musical group were at our table. Kerri and Candace had become good friends after meeting several years earlier so they had a lot of catching up to do. Of course Lucy had her own chair and was the favorite of all the wait staff as well as everyone around us. She just blew kisses and said “hi” to everyone. She also managed to spill watermelon juice all over her clothes so at 9:15 we took her back to the room to change her clothes and I put them in the bathroom sink to soak. Kerri had a 10 show that evening and had to be down at the lounge at 9:3o.
We hurried down to the lounge to find women streaming in to find seats and the line was around the corner. Kerri was disappointed that she had been assigned the smaller lounge instead of one of the larger venues. By 9:45 the doors were closed because of the fire code and there were about 100 mad women who didn't get in. Kerri later said one of the women went up to the director and threatened to leave the ship but went to the bar instead. The director apologized to Kerri but it was too late to make changes. Her next shows on Sat. and Sun. nights would be in the large lounges, but they were at 11 at night.
The plan was that Kerri would start her act and I would stand in the back with Lucy for a few minutes and then bring her up to the stage. Well as soon as Lucy heard her mother's voice she started yelling and trying to jump out of my arms so I just stepped over women sitting all over the floor and took her up front. She charmed everyone with her waves, blowing kisses, and saying “hi” and “bye”. Kerri had to force her to leave. I guess it's in the genes.
Lucy and I went back to suite and decided to have a treat by ordering chocolate cake, cheese cake, and a vegetable tray to make Mommie think that we were eating healthy. Lucy only had a “small' bite of the chocolate cake as sugar is a “no no” according to Mommie. Actually neither cake was a melt in your mouth experience but as room service was “free” we thought we should use it.
I went into the bathroom to rinse out Lucy's outfit that was soaking and discovered that I couldn't get the stopper in the sink to come up. I pulled and yanked and even tried to pry it up with a knife but it wouldn't budge. As it was very late I decided to let the plumber sleep and wait until morning to call. So I brushed my teeth over the tub.
Kerri came in around 11:30 with stories of how much the ladies enjoyed her performance or how angry the ones were who couldn't get in to see her.
At around midnight we felt the ship begin to rock so knew that we were finally underway.
The room was still freezing so I put on a sweat shirt over my nightgown and put Lucy in a warm sleeper and got out my heating pad which I always take along on travels for my sore back. Believe me I was happy to have it that night to keep my feet warm.
I awoke at my usual 7:00 and ordered room service. The choices were limited to something akin to a continental breakfast which was fine except it might have been nice to have a slice of bacon or sausage. Lucy and Kerri were still sleeping and didn't even wake up when the porter brought the tray. I tried to be as quiet as possible so the two sleeping beauties wouldn't be disturbed. Since I was still freezing I decided to take a shower and leave the door open in hopes it would warm the room. Helped a little. After I got out of the shower and dressed I noticed sun streaking through a small opening in the drapes so went over and pulled them open and discovered warmth coming through the windows. I also felt the draft from the opening beside the door. In only a short while the room began warming up and stayed warm for the rest of the cruise. Hallelujah!!!
Candace Cameron was giving her testimony at 10 and since Kerri had heard her speak before she suggested that I go alone and she and Lucy would take a walk. The room was full and we enjoyed her talk. Of course most people remembered her from being on television or as the sister of Kirk Cameron.
There was to be a fire drill at 11:45 so after stopping in one of the shops for a few minutes I headed back to the room. Outside the elevator on our level I met a young woman and an elderly woman with their life jackets on trying to decide where they were supposed to go. The older lady asked me if I thought they should stay on the level their room was on and I said that sounded okay to me. Then the young woman asked if this was my first cruise and when I said yes she told her grandmother that they probably shouldn't listen to someone who was on their first cruise. As it turned out she was right because we had to go to an assigned spot next to the pool area which of course was outside and freezing. Lucy didn't have to put on her life jacket and neither did Kerri but I wasn't exempt from donning the stylish jacket. After listening to instructions for abandoning ship, we were dismissed and everyone hurried to the buffet which was adjacent to the pool. The lines were long and food was plentiful but not especially gourmet and there was no sweet tea in sight. I tried to add sugar to the unsweetened brew but never got it sweet.
After lunch Kerri was scheduled to tape a television interview which would be shown later on TBN. You would think with the temperature hovering around 50 and the wind blowing fiercely that the interview would be inside, but that was not the case. They stood outside on deck and chatted while Lucy and I waited inside. At one point Kerri came in to get Lucy and asked if I wanted to be on television and I said no way was I going out and let that wind blow my coiffed hair out of place. Besides it was freezing. That didn't stop some women and teenagers from donning swimsuits and sitting by the pool.
We went back to the room and Lucy slept for 3 hours and Kerri and I kept her company for part of that time. We were all tired. When she woke up I put Lucy's leash ( it was cute number that looked like a monkey backpack) on and took her for a stroll around the ship. Since her appearance the evening before many of the women and staff recognized her and made a big fuss over how cute she was. Lucy just took it in stride and said “hi” and blew kisses. The women loved that.
We stopped by the room where they were selling all the books, CD's, shirts, etc. for the performers. Kerri was there talking with women about her book and a lady was looking at my book. After asking me a few questions she decided to buy it so I signed it for her. I wondered why the women seemed to be flocking toward Karen Kingsbury's table to buy her books instead of mine. Must have something to do with the fact that she's the best selling Christian women's author in the world and I might add a very sweet lady.
We went back to the room to change for dinner which was the formal evening so we put on our black glitter (at least I did; Kerri just wore pretty black outfit). Of course Lucy had a stunning little pink outfit with matching shoes. After dinner we took Lucy to a friend's cabin who had offered to baby sit so Kerri and I could hear Karen Kingsbury's presentation and part of an Improv act. We enjoyed both. We picked Lucy up and went back to our room where we found a towel tied up to look like a dog lying on the bed next to a plate with a cookie on it. The steward made a different creation for Lucy each night and left her a cookie which her mother wouldn't let her eat. Wonder who ate the cookies????
The next day was Saturday and the ship arrived in Progresso, Mexico (has anyone ever heard of that town?) around noon so women started disembarking around 12:30. The nursery lady agreed to keep Lucy for the afternoon while Kerri and I went shopping. They had shuttles leaving every 10 minutes to take us into the little market area which had lots of booths set up with basically the same touristy merchandise. Kerri and I bought a few pieces of jewelry (I mean you can never have too much jewelry) and matching dresses for her and Lucy, plus another cute shorts outfit for Lucy. We checked the time to realize we had spent about 2 hours in the market so headed back to spend a little time in the duty free shops on the dock.
I failed to mention that the wind was blowing like a gale and our hair was standing on end. Now that wasn't a problem for Kerri as she can manage her own hair quite well, but for my “salon coiffed do” it was. We both looked like wild women. Now there was a photographer standing near the ship who wanted to take everyone's picture and I said “no way” but he insisted so we let him take our picture. Those of you who have been on cruises know that having your picture taken by photographers every time you step out of your room is normal and a great way to spend money. I'm sure they think everyone wants a picture in each outfit worn on the cruise. Then each day the pictures are posted on boards in a designated area and you can pick the ones you want to purchase at an exorbitant rate.
Back to the hair problem. When we boarded the ship I decided to check the salon to see if they could do my hair even though I suspected it would cost a small fortune. They had no openings for the rest of the cruise so that saved me $40. I managed quite well with my trusty curling iron.
As a small compensation for the ship leaving late and not going to Cozumel they gave each passenger a $50 credit to be used anywhere on the ship. Since Lucy was a passenger she also got $50 so Kerri decided to indulge herself and have a facial, pedicure, mini massage, and blow dry. I gave her my $50 minus $15 that I spent on a book so that just about covered all her pampering.
That evening I decided to stay in the cabin with Lucy and order room service for dinner and let Kerri enjoy her time with her friends. Not that Lucy isn't a model diner, but she does distract everyone around her. Besides we needed to get her take a nap so she could perform at Kerri's 11:00 show. The meal was just okay and awkward since the only place to put the trays was on the coffee table and that was fair game for Lucy to try and sample everything hot and cold, and liquid and solid. We had a few minor mishaps but nothing serious. During that time it had started raining pretty hard and the ship was beginning to rock and roll. Lucy thought it was a game as she tried to walk and would wind up walking backwards. I quickly gathered up our leftover dishes and placed them out in the hall so we wouldn't have a disaster in the room.
Lucy went to sleep around 7:30 with a lot of lullabies and rocking and Kerri came in from dinner at 8:00. She said she was very sea sick and that they were putting sea sick bags next to all the elevators. She was scared the ship was going to sink and asked a lot of questions about my experiences on the Repose and I told her that this was just a little storm compared to my 3 days in a typhoon. Fortunately I'm not prone to seasickness, but my stomach was a little unsettled. May have been from my gourmet dinner.
Kerri laid down to see if that would help but was worried about having to do a show at 11 feeling so sick. We both hoped that they would cancel the show. Lucy woke up about 9 ready to go unlike her mother who was moaning. I ordered hot tea with lemon and honey for her thinking that might help, but not sure it did. At around 10 I suggested we take a walk and get some fresh air; not that we would be going outside anywhere. We went down to the level where her show was scheduled and she talked to the director and he said the show must go on. While we were standing there an announcement came over the PA saying that the music show had been cancelled because one of the singers was ill. We wondered why they could cancel for a sick musician and not a sick comedienne.
There was a show in process in the lounge and several women came running out with bags and others with cold cloths on their heads. Even though it was 11:00 and many women were ill, the seats in the big lounge were mostly filled before Kerri's show. I kept Lucy outside for a few minutes and walked in to find Kerri talking with Karen Kingsbury and the sound people. It seemed that the woman scheduled to introduce Kerri was not present so Karen volunteered to do the introduction which I thought was sweet of her. As soon as Lucy heard Kerri's voice she jerked out of my grip and started running down the aisle towards the stage. She scampered up the steps with me in hot pursuit, but Kerri picked her so I sat down in one of the seats. Lucy waved and clapped and Kerri gave her the mike and she said “hi”. The ladies all oohed and aahed as Lucy ran around the stage clearly upstaging her mother. After a few minutes Kerri picked her up and handed her back to me. She blew kisses as we walked down the aisle.
I took Lucy back to the room and after a little rocking got her to sleep. The ship was rocking quite fiercely by that time and when Kerri came in sometime after midnight she was very sick. She took a dose of Benadryl thinking that would help her sleep, but it seemed to have the opposite effect because at 3:00 A.M. she woke me up asking if the ship was sinking. I have to admit that the creaking sounds it was making would lead you to believe it might be sinking, but I reassured her we were fine and were not going to sink. The walls to the rooms must have been paper thin because we could hear the girls in the next room laughing and having a good time so they must not have been sea sick at all. Lucky them.
Kerri had an autograph signing scheduled for 9:00 A.M. so at 8:00 I got up and ordered room service with tea and toast for her and my usual continental fare. I had brought instant oatmeal for Lucy so she ate that and fruit while trying to overturn everything on the tray. Kerri was still not feeling well, but managed to eat, get dressed, and make it downstairs for the signing. After awhile Lucy and I were dressed and I put her in the stroller and went in search of Mommie. Once again all the ladies and crew member that we passed said “hi Lucy” and she dutifully said “hi” back and blew them kisses. I thought by that time that she was the most popular personality on the ship and she should probably be signing autographs. We found Mommie in one of the lounges where they had a table set up with Kerri, Candace, and several of the other performers. Women were lined up out the door with their programs, books, or just sheets of paper for the celebrities to sign.
Out in the passageway Karen Kingsbury was standing and signing books and having her picture taken with each lady. Since I had bought one of her books Lucy and I stood in line and got her autograph. I wondered why she was standing and not sitting and she told Kerri that the ladies had to stand so she felt like she should stand also. Well, the ladies didn't have to stand for 5 hours, but I thought that was very considerate of her. She must not have any back problems.
Kerri had her massage and hair appointment at noon so Lucy and I had lunch in our room and then both took a nap. Afterwards I put her leash on and we took a stroll down to the buffet to test the soft serve ice cream. Once again what Mommie didn't know wouldn't hurt her so Lucy had a small sample of the chocolate. Everyone that passed our table came over to speak to Lucy. Because of her popularity, I as her Nana and babysitter was becoming quite well known by the ladies and crew members.
We had dinner that evening in the dining room and although Kerri was still not feeling 100% she managed to eat most of her dinner. Lucy and I didn't have a problem at all and we enjoyed about 5 courses luckily without any major spills for either of us.
Since we were docking early the next morning, our bags had to be packed and outside our door before midnight so we packed trying to keep things out that we would need to wear or use the next morning. Kerri and Lucy took a short nap so they could be up and ready for the 11:00 show. Why in the world they scheduled shows that late is beyond my comprehension but there were some teenagers and young women in the group who probably thought that was the start of the evening. The auditorium was full so obviously I was in the minority or women just wanted to see Kerri. Since I had not been able to see Kerri's performance, she asked her assistant Lily if she would watch Lucy so I could stay for the show. The beginning was a repeat of the previous two evenings with Lucy stealing the show and not wanting to leave the stage. I enjoyed seeing Kerri even though I was the focus of much of her material.
After Kerri's show I took Lucy back to the room while Kerri chatted with some of the women and said goodbye to others. By the time we got into bed it was 1:30 and we were supposed to disembark at 9:30 the next morning. The morning was hectic but we managed to get ourselves and our carry on luggage to the appointed room with the other performers who were supposed to exit the ship ahead of the group. Well Kerri had to go and pick up pictures that we had made the evening before and brought them back to show me before making selections. In the mean time she started talking with some her friends and when they announced it was time for us to go, she still hadn't taken the proofs upstairs. So everyone left and Lucy and I waited for her at the elevator. About that time, there was an announcement over the PA saying that everyone could start disembarking and hordes of women started coming from all directions. Kerri finally came back and we were in the midst of the throng of people. Lucy and I somehow got ahead of Kerri and when we finally got to the terminal I stopped to wait and this officer of some sort told me I couldn't stop but had to keep moving. So we kept moving and waited inside for Kerri.
All of the luggage was lined up inside the terminal and we found a porter with a cart to help us. Because of having a porter with a cart we were taken through customs in a short line and whisked outside. I immediately called Dick's cell phone and got no answer. I had talked to him earlier to tell him we would be delayed from our original 9:30 time so I knew he was somewhere in the area. I walked down to the end of the covered pick up area, but couldn't see his car or reach his phone. An officer was standing outside and I asked if I could walk over to the parking lot and she said I couldn't come back in if I left and I couldn't stand outside where I was standing. What to do? I went back to find Kerri and Lucy talking with a couple of the cruise planners and she didn't seem particularly upset that we couldn't find her dad. I think she was so happy to be back on solid ground that nothing would upset her at that point. I was beginning to be a little frantic because I was afraid Dick's phone wasn't working or he just couldn't hear it ringing and I knew the cruise people were anxious to have everyone leave so they could leave. Besides it was cold outside and Lucy was getting a little restless as it was past her nap time. Finally after several trips back to the entrance, Kerri called and Dick answered his phone. Turns out he had been standing outside at the other end of the terminal that we didn't walk to because we thought it was the exit and he couldn't have gotten to that parking lot. He had not heard his phone ringing because of all the noise and he didn't see us standing inside because it was dark under the cover. To say I was relieved is an understatement because I had visions of calling the police to try and locate him. Next time, if there is one we will have a Plan B. that does not rely on cell phones. Dick got the car and drove around and with the help of one of the cruise people got our luggage loaded into the car and we were headed home. By that time it was after 11:00 and we had a seven hour drive ahead of us. We made a couple of quick stops for lunch and to get carry out for dinner and to let Lucy walk around, but she slept almost the entire trip home. Guess she was worn out from weird sleeping hours and just keeping up appearances for her adoring fans for 4 days. Being a celebrity is not easy.
We arrived home at 9:00 P.M. and I must say it felt good to be home. We unloaded the car, but I was too tired to unpack so showered and went to bed early as did everyone else. It had been another adventure and all's well that ends well, but there were moments when I didn't know how it was going to end. It's a good thing Kerri didn't have to make a decision about doing their cruise next year because I'm sure she would say no and probably will anyway. I don't think she wants to get back on another ship anytime soon and neither does Nana for that matter. I don't know what Lucy would say, but probably she's game for any adventure.
Of course it was fun being with Kerri and Lucy and meeting quite a few very nice Christian women. Without all the glitches, this story would have been boring which I hope it isn't. Oh, and the money I made from selling my books did not quite cover the cost of my passport so that tells the story.
Maybe more success next time.
