Visiting Deliverance Country
Hi,
Dick and I have just returned from an adventure with Kerri ( her last performance as a single woman) in the backwoods of western Ga. She flew into Atlanta on Thurs. night and we picked her at airport and spent the night there so we could shop a little before driving to Hiram, Ga. on Fr. Since we couldn't find this town on the map we thought it was going to be out in the sticks but it actually had all the strip malls with lots of stores and all the fast food places. Anyway she was invited to speak at a fund raiser for the First Baptist Church in Raysport but the performance was at a Sr. Citizen building in Dallas GA. Neither of these towns had a motel so we stayed at the Holiday Inn Express in Hiry GA. (that's another story).
The pastor left directions(mapquest) at the desk to the place she was performing. He called our room at the hotel and when I heard him speaking I knew this was going to be an interesting evening.
Dick went down to the local barbeque place and got us some sandwiches and Brunswick stew which was delicious.
So at 7:00 we left with map in hand. Well we were doing pretty well until it told us to turn down a country road that deadended into what looked like a farm house. The road looked like he might have gone past the house but we didn't know if it went into a pasture or continued on as the map said. So we turned around and Dick saw a woman out in the yard of her home(he thought she was a man so he called her sir. He realized his mistake when he got closer) and went up and asked her if she knew where we should go. He got back in the car and said he couldn't understand a word she said since it was mountain southern talk (I told him I should have asked) but she pointed in the direction we should go and it was only a "skip and a jump" down the road. As we turned in we saw this huge bill board like sign with Kerri's picture announcing the performance.
We were greeted by the minister and his wife who were very gracious but also spoke in the hill country dialect (nite and rite). I was right at home but Dick and Kerri had some difficulty communicating but Dick has a knack of just fitting right in so you would have thought he was one of them by the time the evening was over. In fact the minister told Kerri he thought her dad was more southern than her mother.
Anyway there were about 500 people all sitting at tables and eating the best homemade desserts you've ever tasted.
They seated us right up front and we knew right away that the pastor secretly wanted to be a stand up comedian as he welcomed everyone and tried to be funny for 10 minutes. He then introduced Minnie Pearl who was the opening act. This woman could have been Minnie Pearl in looks and her jokes were quotes from Minnie but she wasn't real good at delivering the lines.
Then came Kerri and she did a wonderful job of capturing the audience for about an hour which wasn't easy in that setting but they gave her a standing ovation.
By this time we thought it was time to go home but the pastor got up and proceeded to give away about 20 door prizes,each accompanied by a joke and the audience really got into this. Then he said he had 9 coupons for appetizers from Longhorn so asked for 9 volunteers to come forward which they did, men and women. After a few jokes from pastor he told them that they had to each make an animal sound and if the audience could recognize the animal they would get the prize. Well, they really got into this as did the audience. One of the older men had to tell a joke before he could do his impersonation and it was funnier than anything the pastor had said. Dick and I began to look at each other and remember the movie "Deliverance" . He whispered to me that some of these people probably were in the movie. Not that we were being judgmental but one of the women on stage had on blue jeans and shoes with rhinestones like I was trying to find to wear to the wedding. So they all did the animal sounds and we had a lot of laughs and thought we could go home.
Not to be as the pastor said we were going to have a screaming contest so he proceeded to have difference sections of the audience stand up and scream and he picked out 4 people to come of stage. I didn't participate but I was terrified he might pick me anyway. He didn't. God is good. He said he had a $50 bill to give to the winner so the 4 participants screamed their heads off and the audience voted on the winner who was a young boy who really had a scream that could haunt you. He was so excited until the pastor pulled out a piece of paper that was $50 gas bill. The boy didn't think this was too funny but the audience did.
Time to go home. Not to be as the pastor had to tell a story about being a delivery man for UPS which he does as well has pastoring this church. Too long to repeat.
Anyway at 10:30 the evening was over and everyone was invited to have more cake which Dick did while we waited for Kerri to sell all her books and CD's which she did. Of course she had to spend a lot of time talking to her adoring public as they thought she was a Hollywood star (we think so too).
I'm not sure how much of their conversations she could understand but she did a good job pretending that she did. After sitting for 3 hours my back and legs were killing me so I was glad to get back to the hotel. That is until we pulled up and saw all the bikers and race car fans outside and inside the lobby. That was a scary sight so Dick went back and got his gun out of the car just in case.
When I was having my sugar donut and cinnamon roll for breakfast this morning I found out that all these people were going to a kids biking race and they all had on the racing outfits.
Now actually we had a good time and this experience brought back memories of my childhood in the backwoods of rural Al. but it's been a long time since I've spent any time there so I had to concentrate hard to pick up the language skills that I had forgotten. It also made me appreciate my church and pastor who doesn't try to be a comedian as well as pastor.
We had some quality time with Kerri and realized that we probably won't have her to ourselves very much in the future which is wonderful but also will be different for us. We're looking forward to next weekend and looking forward to seeing all of you who will be attending.
As they say in Hiram, By y'all and we'll be seein ya if the good Lord's willin and the creek don't rise.
Love,
Barbara
