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Musings from the clean comedian, mom, blogger, supermodelwannabe, actress, motivational speaker, and author who does loves to find humor in life and put a happy spark into everyone's day.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

 

My mom's adventures with our family

Hi guys,
My mom Barb is also a blogger and author. You can read more about her books and travels here: www.barbarapom.com and on my site where all her blogs are posted on my writer page at www.kerripom.com.
This was her blog from our recent Christmas time adventures with family!

LUCY'S SECOND CHRISTMAS

Our Christmas, 2009 adventure began on December 21 when Dick and I boarded a plane in Atlanta for the 5 hour trip to Los Angeles. We had opted to leave in the afternoon in order for us to have time to leave our home spotless since it is for sale and we just knew the perfect buyer would be coming through during the holidays and we would be signing sale papers in January. (Alas that did not happen) So we were relieved to settle into our seats and relax for a few hours. Dick promptly went to sleep which he always does on planes, but not in any bed where he lays his head. I played trivia the entire trip and actually won several games so the 5 hours passed quickly. We actually arrived in Los Angeles 30 minutes early but since there wasn’t a gate open we sat on the runway and waited. I called Kerri and she, Ron, and Lucy met us at baggage claim. Thankfully all of our luggage arrived and there were no delays.

Now by that time it was 9:00 P.M. EST so Dick and I were tired, hungry, and ready for bed, but we would have a short detour before we were fed and put to bed. Instead of going home Kerri and Ron wanted to take Lucy and us to see the lights in one particular neighborhood where all the homes are decorated extravagantly and the streets are closed off so you park and walk. It was called “Candy Cane Lane” and I will admit it was beautiful and it was fun to watch Lucy as she exclaimed over all the lights and decorations. After about 45 minutes we said goodbye to Santa and all his playmates and headed home.

One of Kerri and Ron’s friends were kind enough to let us use their condo which is right down the hall so it was very convenient and extremely nice to have our own space. After eating and unpacking we were in bed and I slept while Dick rested. Since Kerri and Ron are enrolled in an early morning fitness class and leave at 6:30 I was designated to rise early and stay with Lucy so I was up and at their condo at 6:15. Lucy was up and playing as she is used to going to class with them. Alas I wasn’t able to relax with my wake up cup of coffee and early morning news shows while reclining on my heating pad to loosen my back muscles. Instead we watched Sesame Street and Curious George.

After Kerri got home Dick and I made a trip to the grocery store to stock up on staples and snack. The “fitness healthy” family does not have any snacks in their cupboards and we cannot exist without sugar. I will say that my thoughtful daughter had traveled miles out of her way to Chick fil A to buy her mother a gallon of sweet tea (the southern elixir which I crave). Then my sweet son in law had researched how to make sweet tea on the internet and made 2 gallons. I was very pleased with the gestures but didn’t want to tell them it would take at least 3 people to drink 3 gallons of tea before it lost its taste. It was a very thoughtful of both of them.

Mark was to arrive by train at 6:30 that evening and since the station was in downtown LA Kerri, Dick, Lucy, and I left at 5:00 to meet him. The traffic was bumper to bumper on all 6 lanes and it was after 7:00 before we arrived at the station. Mark’s train was early so he had to wait about an hour for us so was outside ready to leave when we pulled up. The ride home wasn’t as bad and we used to time to visit with Mark and catch up. Lucy was excited to see Uncle Mark as he was her.

The next afternoon was Kerri’s internet show on Mom TV which she does every Tuesday afternoon. She usually interviews interesting and sometimes famous guests or just talks about subjects she and the producers think moms would like to hear. That particular afternoon she was interviewing a prominent Nutritionist, but before she started the interview she wanted me to show everyone how to decorate Christmas red plate chargers with white polka dots to make them look festive. Some of my “sisters” at home had showed me how to paint the edges and when I told Kerri about it she said she would like to decorate her chargers so I took the paint and brushes to California with me. It was going to a “mother/daughter” bonding project. So Kerri introduced “mom” and I proceeded to paint dots while she asked questions. I’m not sure they were even as I was probably nervous about doing anything in front of an audience. I then showed some of my handmade Christmas cards that I had made with my new Cricut machine. So for a few minutes I was an internet star and Kerri actually got some emails from ladies saying they liked the demonstration. She then interviewed the Nutrition lady and I listened and learned that I’m eating all the wrong foods, but I’m too old to change. Besides what is life without “sweet tea”.

The next morning after Kerri’s exercise program we drove over an hour to her hairdresser’s apt. The stylist actually works in the famous Fred Segal Salon but she does some clients at home and charges about half the fee to it’s worth a drive for Kerri to go to her home. She was going to color Kerri’s hair and just blow dry and style mine. We took Lucy with us so Dick could sleep. Now Lucy has a “minor” issue that we don’t like to discuss because it has caused Kerri to shed many tears. She likes to bite other children and sometimes adults. Kerri and Ron have consulted with every known specialist, book, internet site on the subject and they all say she will out grow it, but in the mean time just keep a close watch on her. Easier said than done.

As we neared Wendy’s (not her read name so she won’t get fired from Fred Segal) home I asked Kerri if the neighborhood was safe as it looked a little run down but not ghetto like. She said “of course it’s safe, it’s where The Karate Kid” lived when he moved to LA”. No comment from me but if you saw the movie you know the neighborhood. We made our way up to Wendy’ apartment and after introductions to her one year old baby who was just starting to walk and very cute, she proceeded to put the color on Kerri’s hair. My job was to watch Lucy and make sure she didn’t bite Michael. I thought I was doing a good job, when all of a sudden Michael started screaming and Lucy was standing next to him with a look of innocence on her face. At first I didn’t notice anything but Wendy looked over and started screaming hysterically that Lucy had bitten him on the face. Sure enough he had teeth marks on his little chubby cheeks Wendy immediately picked him up and got an ice pack while Kerri took Lucy in the bedroom and spanked her bottom. We know from past experience that doesn’t work, but you have to do something. After things settled down a little Kerri asked me to take Lucy down to car and keep her there until she got the color off her hair. We would have left, but you can’t leave with color on your hair. So Lucy and I spent 30 minutes in the car with the windows rolled up as I watched some unsavory looking characters walk down the side walk. I was also lamenting the fact that now I wouldn’t be able to get my hair done and would have to do it myself or pay someone $40 to do it for me. My phone rang about that time and Kerri said she would come down and sit with Lucy while her color processed and Wendy would do my hair. When I got back upstairs, Michael was in bed asleep and Wendy was calm and very understanding about the incident. She finished my hair and I gave her a $10 tip because I felt so bad about not watching Lucy close enough. She then called Kerri and told her to bring Lucy back up so we all managed to make the best of a troubling situation. Lucy was oblivious to all the trauma she had caused, but Kerri was devastated for the rest of the day. However our “coifs” did look good so that helped.

That afternoon Kerri, Mark and I went to post office and grocery store. Our Christmas Day plan was to have dinner with Ron’s parents at his sister’s home and we were to provide desserts for the meal. I offered to make my southern coconut cake and help Kerri make 2 buttermilk pies. Kerri was also going to make her northern grandmother’s stuffing so we had ingredients to shop for. While Kerri and Mark stood in the long line out of the door at the post office I started the shopping foray through the store. Much to my disappointment but not surprise (after all we were in Ca. not the south) they had no frozen coconut which is pretty essential for a good cake unless you want to grate a fresh coconut which I wasn’t in the mood to do. So I picked up 2 packages of dried coconut off the shelf knowing full well that it was going to ruin my cake recipe but what other options did I have.

The next day Kerri and I started early (after her workout and me getting up at 6:00) on our cooking projects. Now I had 2 recipes with slightly different ingredients for the buttermilk pies and I was trying to find bowls, measuring utensils, cake pans, and pie pans from both Kerri’s kitchen and the condo where we were staying. Now Ann who lives in the condo is a gourmet cook, but it took quite awhile and a few phone calls to Ann to gather all the things that I needed. She has a very fancy Kitchenaid mixer which I didn’t want to try and figure out how to work so I just used Kerri’s hand held mixer which was adequate but not great. If anyone was watching the whole process it was probably comical to see me running back and forth between Kerri and Ann’s condos and cooking in 2 stoves. The results were that the buttermilk pies almost never got done and it was probably because of mixing 2 recipes. They sure didn’t look like any picture or buttermilk pie that I had ever seen and I made Dick test them before taking them to dinner. He said they were good and I hoped he was telling the truth and not just trying not to hurt my feeling. The dried coconut was a poor substitute for the frozen but it was passingly (don’t think that’s a word) okay. Kerri’s stuffing was very good so something was a success. I think the moral of that story is just don’t try to cook in someone else’s kitchen in another part of the country. Some of my special friends would probably say that I don’t try to cook in my own kitchen and they could be right.

Since that was Christmas Eve, we decided to go to an early Mass and have dinner afterwards. Kerri map quested the church and we still got lost so were late arriving. People were standing along the sides and in the back but someone said we could go up into the balcony so that’s what we did. There were only 5 rows of chairs and since we had Lucy we opted to sit on the back row where we couldn’t see anything and could hear very little. A few minutes after we sat down, everyone in the balcony heard the theme from “Gone With the Wind” as my phone started ringing. Now the only way I know to stop it is to answer it so I did and it was my brother calling from Alabama. He of course had no idea we were in church and when I told him I thought he said “call me back; it’s important” so I immediately went outside and called him back. He said he had said “it’s not important” but with all the confusion I misunderstood. He just wanted to see how we were doing and wish us a Merry Christmas. I went back upstairs and we made it through Mass by everyone having a turn at following Lucy up and down the stairs.

After Mass we proceeded to the Buggy Whip Restaurant which is a famous steak house where Kerri just happened to have a $50 coupon which she had gotten off the internet. We were shown to table but given no menus and told that they don’t have high chairs. Now that would be an indication to me that we should try a restaurant that welcomed babies, but no one else agreed with me. Then the waitress came over and Kerri told her she had a coupon and the waitress said it wasn’t good on a holiday. Kerri who is not intimidated by anyone quickly explained that she had called earlier and the manager said it would be honored. So the waitress who was kind of snippy and not a happy camper to start with (and who would be if you had to work on Christmas Eve) went to check. She came back and said that yes we could use the coupon. She then noticed that we didn’t have menus so found some nearby but said they didn’t have enough for everyone and we had to share. Now that wouldn’t be a problem at McDonald’s but you would think that a 3 or 4 star restaurant would have enough menus for everyone. We wisely didn’t say anything as she took our drink orders. When she came back to take our food orders I asked her a question and she acted a little “put out” and said she would get back to me later. She proceeded to take everyone’s order and was leaving when I told her she had forgotten me. She stopped and acted like she was doing me a favor as she took my order. After she left I made an unkind comment and Kerri said we should be nice because she might be having a bad day so when she came back with our drinks, Kerri asked her name which was Dianne and everyone tried to be especially nice to her. I like to think that it worked but not certain. We waited and waited and Lucy was getting restless going from lap to lap with no high chair and at one point reached over the back of the booth and touched a woman’s hair. Fortunately the woman didn’t yell so I guess she didn’t pull it. At that point Dick decided to take her into the other room to listen to the piano player. They stayed for quite awhile until our food arrived and he said Lucy was the hit of the lounge and the pianist played “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” for her. The entrees were good and Ron treated and left Dianne a nice tip so hopefully her next customers were treated a little nicer. It had been a long day and we were all tired and ready for bed.

Christmas Day arrived and everyone was up early except Dick and Mark. I went over to see Lucy’s presents and when I walked into the condo, I saw pieces of her train set scattered everywhere. Kerri said they had spent hours putting it together and it took her just minutes to take it apart. They discovered that she loves trains when they took her for a train ride around Santa Land during Christmas. She also likes to watch Thomas the Train on television. So they thought she would love a train set. Well she liked it for a few minutes and then discovered it was fun to take apart. She was busy going from one thing to another and it was fun to watch her exploring all the gifts.

Kerri made chocolate pancakes for breakfast and served them on her newly painted polka dot chargers so the table was very festive. She and Ron decided they could skip the diet for one day so started off with a big splurge. After breakfast Lucy opened her presents from Nana and Rocco which were numerous. We had purchased a book from Hallmark that you read and record your voice on each page and we thought it would be a nice book for her to have to read and listen to our voices after we had gone home. I just knew she was going to love it. Well a 2 year old is more interested in buttons than voices so she would turn a page and press the record button (which was turned off, but said “turn the battery on to record”) and of course would drown out our voices. Oh well, maybe she would read it after we were gone.

We arrived at Ron’s sister’s home around 3:00 and were greeted by his parents, sister’s husband and 2 children, plus a cousin and her family of four so was a large group. Ron’s mother and sister cooked a feast of Korean dishes plus a baked ham and sweet potatoes probably just for us. Kerri realized that she had forgotten to bring the stuffing and was devastated, but there was no shortage of food. Everyone dutifully ate our pies and cake, but I’m not certain they were a huge hit. One of Ron’s comedian friends who is single joined us and brought fudge and that was devoured in short order.

After dinner we opened presents. Dick had filled 2 huge piñatas with dollar bills for the 2 children and they proceeded to hit them with a bat until the money went flying everywhere. We let Lucy have a turn and she was fascinated by the whole process. The biggest hit of the day was the big box that we had brought with our packages in it. Lucy and Erica spent the afternoon hiding in and being carried around in the box. We could have skipped the presents and just given them a box and they would have been happy. Ron’s parents gave us oranges, lemons, tangerines, and avocados from their garden plus a big box of Asian pears which Dick loves. We gave them pecans and southern barbeque sauce so it was fun exchange. It was a lovely day and a very memorable Christmas.

The next evening Dick, Kerri, Ron, and I went to see a play in Long Beach which is a 45 minute drive. Kerri had called Dick before our trip and gave him a number of options for plays to see and he chose “Radio Lux Theater” because we had seen a radio play in Atlanta and enjoyed it very much. Well that day Dick had been very tired and slept most of the day and actually had to make himself get dressed and go with us. I’m sure he would rather have stayed in bed but didn’t want to disappoint Kerri. The theater was small with seats on 3 sides of the stage which was in the center. The play started out slow and I kept thinking that it was going to get better but it didn’t. Dick’s head kept dropping and he would start making snoring noises so I kept punching him to wake him up. I didn’t know if he was bored or just very tired. We were so close to the stage that I knew the actors could see him sleeping. Ron was the only one who laughed and I think he was just trying to be supportive because the play wasn’t funny.

The intermission finally arrived and I asked Dick if he would like to leave and he said no. I then looked at Kerri and asked her if she liked the play and she said it was okay. I told her I thought it was boring and she said “well it is a little boring”. She then asked Ron if he would like to leave and he said he could go or stay. After some discussion we decided to leave so we quietly exited the theater. Kerri was worried that it would be rude to leave since the audience was so small and being an actress she may have experienced audience members leaving a show, but I’m sure not because of “her” acting or speaking ability. We had to walk beside the building past the dressing room windows which were open in order to get to the parking lot in the back of the theater. Kerri told us to be very quiet and not say anything negative in case some of the cast were in the dressing rooms and could hear us. So we walked quietly and as we reached the rear of the building Kerri said very loudly that Dad had slept through the whole play. About that time we heard a voice say “we weren’t as bad as that were we?” and looked over and saw the 2 male leads smoking cigarettes at the back door. Kerri immediately turned and said something like “we have a baby at home and can’t stay out late” and one of the men said “oh they all say that”. By that time Ron and I were laughing hysterically and Dick was trying to find the car in a hurry. Kerri caught up with us and joined in the laughter but kept saying how bad she felt that the actors had heard her comment. I said they shouldn’t have been smoking and then wouldn’t have heard us. AT any rate it provided laughter for most of the ride home and we hoped the second act would have been more entertaining for those who stayed. Another memorable Pomarolli evening.

Two days later on Sunday morning, we packed our bags and took Lucy along as we drove Mark home to San Diego. Mark had not been feeling well because of side effects of his medicine so was anxious to be home and in his own bed. Thankfully the traffic was not heavy and the trip only took 2 hours during which time Lucy had a nice nap. Dick had made reservations at the Marriott Residence Inn where we had stayed when we visited earlier in October. It never occurred to us that school was out and all the kids in California would be staying at the hotel because it was close to Sea World and the Zoo. Plus it was right across the street from the football stadium where a Bowl Game was being played on Monday night. When Lucy and I walked down to have breakfast the next morning kids and their parents were lined up out the door for the complimentary breakfast. Now I have stayed at hundreds of motels over the years and never experienced that many people in a lobby trying to eat free food. I would have just skipped it and had coffee in our room, but I knew that Lucy needed to eat so I took her back to the room and left her with Dick while I went back and stood in line to get her some “just okay” food. She did like the fruit and milk. The next couple of mornings I got up early and went down before the crowds and brought food back to the room. So Lucy and I ate and watched Elmo on Sesame Street.

Since Mark couldn’t drive Dick and I drove him to the pharmacist, doctor, bank, grocery store, and other places that he needed to go. Each day he picked out restaurants for lunch and dinner and we enjoyed a variety of very good gourmet meals. Ocean Beach where he lives is a beautiful little community right on the ocean and is filled with shops, boutiques and interesting restaurants and fortunately are in walking distance of his apartment. Not that his mother walked to any of them. Why walk when you have a car? Lucy loved the water so every day Mark or Dick would take her for a walk down to the water where she could watch for boats. We also took her to a nearby playground which was very nice and we saw soccer moms and kids alongside the homeless. Apparently Ocean Beach and probably San Diego is a haven for homeless people because of the warm climate and wonderful treasures in the garbage cans. Several times when we pulled up behind Mark’s apartment we saw men with long sticks going through the garbage cans. They always had bicycles with baskets overflowing with items they had found. It’s always sad to me to see homeless people and I wish I knew the answer to the problem, but I guess no one does at this point. At least those people weren’t cold or hungry.

One afternoon we tried to take Lucy to the zoo but we forgot that all the kids were out of school and apparently at the zoo, because we couldn’t find a parking space. After 30 minutes of driving around we decided that even if we could park it would be too crowded to get close to the animals so we left and went shopping instead. Mark had given me a gift certificate to an antique mall for Christmas and I needed to use it while we were there so we drove to the mall. I have to admit I really didn’t expect to find a treasure but thought either Dick or I could find something to use the gift certificate on. Low and behold as I walking around I looked into a showcase and saw a Madame Alexander Scarlett doll. It was similar to one that I have but the price was right and I thought Mark would be pleased that he had added to my collection so I purchased it. Of course then we had to ship it home since I didn’t want to take a chance on it getting lost or broken in my luggage. Dick also found a rare record album and a Blue Angels airplane model so it was a fun and successful afternoon. Mark and Lucy spent most of the time outside playing while we were shopping. Lucy does not enjoy antiques and neither does Mark for that matter.

That afternoon it became cloudy and a rain shower followed which was unusual for San Diego but they do need rain to help prevent the forest fires that occur quite often. It was also the night of the bowl game which was outside so when we got back to our motel, some of the rain soaked fans were walking in complaining about the weather. Then someone asked if we had felt the earthquake and we said no. Apparently there had been a small quake in Mexico which had been felt in San Diego, but thankfully we had missed it. I talked to my brother that night and he asked how we were enjoying the rain and the earthquake so it must have been on the news.

I discovered quite by accident that Lucy has the potential to be a hairdresser. I already knew that she was all female as she loves purses, shoes, and makeup and won’t leave home without all of the above. Well one night as I was sitting on the sofa in the motel watching TV, she came over with my comb and brush and climbed up beside me and began to style my hair. She would comb a little and lean down and look me in the eye and say “okay, honey” and then “you so pretty”. Then if she pulled my hair I would say “ouch” and she would say “I so sorry” and continue combing. That kept her occupied for about an hour. I told Kerri that was the first

time I had seen her concentrate on anything for long a period of time. She is usually flitting or running from one thing to another. We had several more hair sessions during our stay and she did it as well as most of the high priced hair stylists that I visited.

On New Year’s Day Dick, Lucy, and I checked out of the motel and drove over to have lunch with Mark before heading back up to Orange County where we would be staying at one of Kerri and Ron’s friend’s home for the next week. On the way over I planned to stop by Chick fil A and pick up a gallon of sweet tea for the week, but of all the things the exit ramp was closed and we didn’t know how to find another road to the restaurant. After a quick lunch we were on the road headed north. Now the plan was that we would open the home and Kerri and Ron would come down on New Year’s Day. They had big plans to celebrate New Year’s Eve and we just wanted to rest which is kind of difficult with a 2 year old speeding bullet named Lucy.

The ride up took about an hour and a half and we found the home with no difficulty. Ron had given us a key and told us that the couple has a nanny who lives with them, but she wasn’t supposed to be home that day or night. We were not too comfortable going into a strange home but Ron had given us a few instructions as to which bedroom to use, etc. The home is a lovely home with 6 bedrooms, a pool, hot tub, fountain, and complete kitchen in the backyard. It is a tri-level with the master bed room suite and their daughter’s bedroom down stairs and 4 bedrooms upstairs. Ron told us to choose one of the upstairs rooms and he and Kerri would take one the others. After unpacking we decided to go out and find somewhere to eat dinner. While we were out driving around we spotted a Chick fil A so I was able to get my sweet tea and Lucy enjoyed chicken, fries, and some time in their play area.

When we returned from shopping, we noticed a car in the driveway and knew it must be the nanny’s car. We did not meet her until later in the evening as she was in her room. She then told us that Dick and I were supposed to sleep in the master bed room and we just said since we were already settled in upstairs we would let Kerri and Ron use that room. Dick slept in one of the twin beds and I slept in a twin bed in another bedroom. Ron had brought Lucy’s bed down earlier so her bed was in Rocco’s room. Lucky me.

I was sleeping well when around 5:00 A. M. I heard from the next room “Cuddle with Nana” and in a few minutes in walked Rocco with Lucy who climbed in beside me in the single bed. She went immediately back to sleep curled up under me and after an eternity I must have dozed because I was awakened by a big thud and realized that she had fallen out of the bed. She was down between the bed and wall and fortunately didn’t seem to be hurt because I picked her up and she went back to sleep.

Kerri and Ron arrived around noon and after they unpacked we drove to Ron’s parent’s home for dinner. Once again his mom had cooked a feast and we enjoyed visiting with them. The guys watched football and everyone relaxed. I commented to Ron’s mom that I loved her warm soft throw which she had on her sofa and she immediately said “you take it, I have another one”. I of course said I couldn’t do that but she insisted and I went home with her beautiful throw as well as more avocados, oranges, and lemons.

The next night Kerri asked me to go to a prayer meeting with her and a friend at someone’s home. She said they prayed for people to be healed and she knew I needed healing so I said okay if we don’t have to stay all night. She said no we would only stay 30 minutes and leave. The meeting started at 7:00 and after getting lost trying to find her friend’s home, we arrived at 7:45. We were greeted at the door by the leader of the group who owned the condo where the meeting was held. The living room/dining area was packed with people sitting on chairs, the floor, stairway, and standing up as well so we squeezed our way into the kitchen where Kerri found a chair for me. A man and woman were playing guitars and leading praise music none of which I knew so I just listened and thought it would probably end soon.

Well as the singing progressed, the front door opened and a young woman walked in carrying a life size red head of the devil. I thought it must be part of some kind of program, but then I realized that everyone in the room was looking at the woman wondering what she was doing. The host gently tried to escort her out of the door and she held up the devil’s head and said “If he has no power over you, why can’t he come in?” Then we realized she must be a kook trying to disrupt the meeting. Eventually the host got her out of the door and we could see him talking to her for quite awhile as the singing continued.

As we were sitting (at least I was sitting) in the kitchen 2 men were having a conversation behind us and Kerri turned to one of them and said “you sound like you have a southern accent” to which he replied “I’m from Alabama”. So she said “my mom’s from Alabama” and I felt like I should introduce myself so I did. After asking where he was from and telling him my roots, the man proceeded to tell me that his whole body was filled with metal plates from war injuries he had received from several tours in the Marine Corps and he had even been rescued from a body bag by a Navy nurse who felt his pulse. The story continued with him saying he had just finished working on some kind of energy invention which would save millions of dollars, but in the process he had almost blown himself up and was in the hospital for weeks recovering from his injuries. I’m sure I was sitting there with my mouth open having a hard time believing all of the stories, but trying to act interested. He went on to tell me he had recently left his wife of 4 years after he followed her to the mall on his Harley and found her with another man. Apparently his first wife had died and left a child that he didn’t know he had until last year when her family contacted him to tell him they couldn’t take care of the little eleven year old girl. So at the moment the child was with his parents in Alabama and he visited as often as he could.

Now during this whole conversation a lady was standing behind us singing all the songs being sung by the group in the other room. As I was trying to stay focused on all the stories I was hearing and checking my watch frequently, the lady leaned down and whispered in the man’s ear that he should be quiet. Now first of all I appreciated not having to hear any more stories, but I didn’t understand who appointed that lady the sound monitor and why if she was so into the singing she wasn’t in the main room. I wisely kept quiet except to ask Kerri how much longer we were staying. Her friend leaned over and said they had never had 2 hours of singing and she just knew it would be over soon. So much for our 30 minute visit.

About that time a young woman came up to Kerri and asked if she was Kerri Pomarolli to which Kerri answered yes. She went on to say she had seen one of Kerri’s shows in Dallas 5 years earlier and had followed her career on Kerri’s web site since that time. She just went on and on about being Kerri’s biggest fan which was very flattering. As it happened she was from Bulgaria and Kerri has a very good friend from Bulgaria so they were chatting away when the lady sound monitor walked over and asked them to be quiet. So they dutifully started singing and following instructions.

At 9:00 the singing stopped and the leader of the group introduced himself and gave about a 45 minute talk about the Christian walk and made several references to Jesus and his disciples healing the sick, etc. Then a couple of people gave testimonies about how they had been miraculously healed and I had no reason to doubt anything they were saying. The leader then said they would take a break and afterwards pray for anyone who needed prayer. I told Kerri it was after 10:00 and time for us to be home and she agreed that we should leave. She then told me to look behind us and there surrounded by a group of women was the girl who had brought the devil’s head. Now I still don’t know how she got into the kitchen because we were at the door and she had not passed by me so she must have somehow gone around the building and come through the back door without us seeing her. Either that or it was magic. At any rate the women were praying for her and hopefully they were successful.

On the way out, Kerri introduced me to the leader as her “frozen chosen” Presbyterian mother who had never attended that kind of meeting before. Boy you can say that again. He was very nice and asked if he could pray for me and I said of course so he did. I appreciated his concern and prayers even though I didn’t receive a miracle that night.

When we got back into the car, Kerri remarked that her gas gauge was on empty and we would have to stop for gas. Now I am forever telling her not to let her gas tank get below ¼ empty and to never stop at gas stations after dark, but she thinks its just mom being paranoid. I don’t think she realizes the danger of even driving alone after dark in a big city much less stopping at gas stations in unfamiliar territory. We were fortunate to find a station in a well lit area and I was very relieved to be back at our “borrowed” home safely. Needless to say I was tired and Kerri kept saying that I would probably never go to another prayer meeting with her. I hope I kept quiet but not certain of that. It was certainly an unforgettable night and I had made a new friend from Alabama.

The next morning Kerri and I were up early so she could make her specialty deviled eggs and I could help her make a salad for a baby shower we would be attending that day. She cooked a dozen eggs to make 24 halves and placed them in her Tupperware 2 tiered egg carrier. We had also worked on and completed a 3 layer cake made out of diapers and decorated with ribbons which was an idea from her friend Ann and a cute way to give diapers as a gift. So by 11:30 we had the car loaded and were off to drive about 45 minutes to the shower. When we arrived we unpacked the goodies and put the food in the kitchen. Kerri asked me to take the eggs and put them on the dining room table while she helped the hostess with a few last minute details. So I picked up the eggs and as I almost reached the table the bottom tier fell off and all the eggs on that tier hit the floor and went splat. The filling went every where including on my new black skirt. I was mortified and knew Kerri would be devastated as she had worked so hard making the eggs. At that moment Kerri walked in and saw the mess on the floor and was horrified at the loss of over half of her eggs. She looked at the floor and quietly asked if we could salvage some of them since they were still intact. I have to admit I was tempted but in the end decided that we’d better toss them in the garbage which we did. We then proceeded to clean up the floor which fortunately was wood so we just wiped up the eggs. I was able to get most of the eggs off of my skirt as well. Kerri later told me that was not the first time the egg carrier had fallen apart so we decided to toss it out when we got home. The few eggs that were left disappeared in a hurry and food was plentiful so I don’t think anyone missed having more eggs. The shower was lovely and I visited with some of the Kerri’s friends that I had met over the years.


Since Kerri’s church was meeting that afternoon in a friend’s home we had to leave the shower a little early. Too bad we had to forego some of the games which we both “love”. We arrived at the church meeting to find Ron in the front yard playing with Lucy. They have a bible lesson for children but since Lucy has bitten some of the children Kerri and Ron take turns watching her away from the other kids. The meeting was already in progress as the small group of about 10 people sat around listening to a praise music CD so I took a seat next to Dick on the sofa. Almost immediately everyone heard “Tara’s Theme” above the praise music as my phone started ringing. At least it wasn’t during a prayer. I was embarrassed but as I said before the only way I know to stop the ringing is to answer it so I did and it was my friend Ellen calling from Georgia. Of course she had no way of knowing we were in a church meeting in the middle of the afternoon. So I walked outside and had a short conversation and then went back in to join the meeting. As the meeting progressed Kerri and I both took a turn watching Lucy so Ron could participate. After about 2 hours they adjourned to the kitchen where everyone partook of a pot luck dinner. Since Kerri and I had eaten a late lunch and we had a long drive back to Orange County, we opted to leave as did Ron and Dick with Lucy. It had been another long, but interesting day.

When we all arrived at the house, Ron told us that the owners of the home had called that afternoon to say that an exchange student from China was coming over on Tuesday to look at the room that I was using to possibly rent it. If he liked it, he would move in on Wednesday. So we made a quick change of plans. After much discussion it was decided that Dick, Lucy, and I would drive to San Diego on Tuesday and stay until Thursday when we would go back to their condo. Kerri and Ron would go home and get things in order since they had someone installing wood floors in the living and dining area while they were away.

The next morning was an exciting time as we were all taking Lucy and Ron’s niece and nephew to see “The Chipmunks Squeakquel” movie. Kerri and Ron had discovered in December that Lucy loved the chipmunk’s music after she had seen a preview of the movie on TV. They bought the Christmas CD and every time we got in the car she would say “play Simon, play Simon” until someone turned it on. So we listened to Simon, Theodore, and Alvin for 3 weeks and hours in the car between San Diego and LA. One of Ron’s brothers had sent the little stuffed figures plus Brittany, the Chippette from the new movie and she took them every where she went. Since she is only two I thought it was risky taking her to the movie theater but we went at 10:30 in the morning in hopes there would only be children who wouldn’t care if Lucy made noise.

Ron brought Lucy’s booster seat with a tray for her to sit in. Dick bought popcorn and drinks for everyone which by the way cost more than the movie tickets. Kerri put popcorn on Lucy’s tray and she sat mesmerized watching the movie and eating her popcorn until almost the end of the movie. It was so much fun to watch her expressions during the dancing and singing. She was jumping up and down and trying to dance in her seat.

As we were sitting quietly watching the movie everyone heard music that wasn’t coming from the screen. Yes, it was my phone playing “Gone With the Wind”. I had to answer it to stop the music and that time it was Mark so I just told him we were in the movie and he asked why I had not put my phone on vibrate. I always do that in movies but in the excitement just forgot. I don’t really think anyone but my family noticed, but they were certainly looking at me and making me feel uncomfortable. It could have had something to do with the fact that it was third incident of my phone ringing in inappropriate places. Oh well, I’m old and forgetful.

After Lucy was sated with popcorn she decided it was time to get out of the chair and let everyone know she wanted out. So Ron took her out and let her stand in front of her seat. She stood there holding on to the seat in front of her dancing and singing. No one in the theater seemed to mind.

The movie was cute and entertaining and what a treat to experience Lucy’s first visit to the movies. Afterwards we stopped for hamburgers and fries and then went home for a much needed nap.

We departed for San Diego around noon and since the traffic was light we arrived at our motel in less than 2 hours. Fortunately it did not look as crowded as the previous week and Mark said that was because most schools were back in session. After unpacking we went over to Mark’s condo and picked him up to take him to the Dermatologist. Lucy went to sleep in the car so we just waited while Mark saw the doctor. As it was diner time when he came out we went directly to Old Town and to one of his favorite Mexican Restaurants. He and Dick love Mexican food and I am always limited in my food choices because I can’t eat anything spicy.

Dick is my taster and tests everything for pepper before I try it. During the meal 2 men with guitars came over to table and asked if they could play for us. Dick told them Lucy’s name and they sang a song with “Lucy” in it. I’m sure they just substituted her name, but since we couldn’t understand Spanish we didn’t know what they were saying anyway. Dick gave them a nice tip for their efforts and Lucy was fascinated by the guitars and singing.

We know she loves music and drawing but not certain those occupations will take precedence over hair styling or phone operator. We also know she could be a track star as she’s faster than a speeding bullet.

After dinner we dropped Mark off and went back to the motel as we were tired and I wanted to wash my hair. It was after 9:00 by the time I showered and was ready to dry my hair. I took the motel hair dryer off the wall, turned the “on” switch and nothing happened. I checked the reset button and tried every thing I knew to do and the dryer wouldn’t work. Of course I was asking “why me Lord”. Since I couldn’t go to sleep with wet hair I knew we had to call the desk and try to get a new dryer.

The desk clerk said an engineer would be up to look at it shortly and around 9:30 he arrived. After working on it for several minutes he said it was broken and he would have to get a new one. So he left and we waited. Of course Lucy couldn’t go to sleep since the bathroom was connected to the bedroom where she slept. She was happy to run around and play and I said “don’t tell mommy you’re up so late”. After what seemed like an eternity, the engineer brought a new dryer, installed it, and left. By that time my hair was partially dried so I rewet it, dried it, and Lucy and I went to bed.

The next day we picked Mark up in the late morning and drove to Balboa Park which is a famous park named after the explorer and is filled with museums, playhouses, exhibits, beautiful walkways, fountains, restaurants, and playgrounds. All the architecture is Spanish and the buildings are beautiful. Can you guess where we went? We had a quick sandwich in one of the cafes and then headed for the playground. Since the park covers hundreds of acres, it’s a long walk to get everywhere and I thought we would never reach the playground. Mark put Lucy on his shoulders and they left Dick and me in the dust trailing behind. It was a beautiful sunny day and the gardens and trees were beautiful so we just took our time as I wondered how I was going to make it back up the hill and to the parking lot. Lucy had a wonderful time on the slides and swings and would have stayed all afternoon but we knew she had to have a nap and the rest of us were getting tired. I had a map with all the tram stops and tried to find one we could take back to the car, but the nearest stop was further than the parking lot so we just headed back up the hill very slowly. Dick offered to go get the car and left us to wait in front of one of the buildings. I was extremely grateful and relieved as my back and sciatica had been hurting for days. Picking up a 2 year old will do that to a Nana’s back.

That evening Mark wanted to take us to the weekly Fresh Market in Ocean Beach. As we discovered, about 4 streets are blocked off and the sidewalks are filled with vendors selling prepared foods from around the world, as well as fresh produce, health food items, and a variety of crafts mostly jewelry. It was fascinating to watch all the chefs prepare the food and then decide what we wanted to eat. Mark suggested kabobs and meat pasties from East Africa which he liked so I agreed and we purchased a variety of dishes to take home. Dick found several desserts including a pie and chocolate fudge. I spotted a man frying mini donuts and bought 6. I knew they wouldn’t compare with Krispy Kreme but maybe they would be a good substitute. Well when we got back to Mark’s condo and I tasted a kabob I realized that it was covered with pepper so after one bite I knew I couldn’t eat that delicacy. I then tried the pasties since that was the only other food we had bought to eat and managed to eat several although I thought they just tasted okay. However the donuts were delicious so I finished my meal by eating 4 of them and sharing the other 2. After dinner we visited with Mark and his roommate for a short while and headed back to the motel in hopes of getting Lucy to bed at a reasonable time. Did we succeed? I’m not telling!

The next morning we packed and checked out of the hotel by 10:00 and drove over to take Mark to the grocery store so he could stock up while he had transportation. At around 11:00 we said our goodbyes which was very difficult since we didn’t know when we would see him again. Lucy wanted to stay with Uncle Mark and that made us sad as well. They are really a team and its fun to watch them together. So we were off and headed to Ron’s sister’s home where we were going to celebrate Ron and his nephew Tyler’s birthdays which were the following week. We actually met at a restaurant and had hamburgers before adjourning to his sisters for cake. His mom came over so we had a nice afternoon visiting with the family.

The drive to Kerri and Ron’s was hectic as we were in the middle of 6 lane rush hour traffic, but fortunately we had no tie ups and we arrived around 7:00. Kerri had been complaining all week of a toothache under one of her front crowns and apparently that day the pain had increased in intensity to the point that she felt she couldn’t wait until the next day to have someone look at it. So ever the resourceful person, she called 1 800 dentist and found a dentist in their neighborhood. Only in a big city can you find a dentist who works into the night and we were concerned about exactly what kind of dentist he would be. So Ron drove her to the office and after about 30 minutes she called and said the dentist said she needed a root canal that night and he was getting ready to proceed. We talked to Ron and he said the office was nice and everything looked respectable so they felt confident in the dentist’s recommendation. So we waited and waited and it was almost 10:00 when they returned home and Kerri seemed okay but was having some pain. We were all thankful that she had gotten the tooth taken care of and hoped the problem was resolved.

The next day Kerri and I bonded at the mall and found some sales which necessitated spending some of our Christmas gift money from Dick. Kerri was on a mission to find a new purse and I just wanted to add new clothes to my over crowded closet. Why is it that we can’t seem to pass up bargains even when we know we don’t need any more clothes? Or is that just my problem??? Anyway we had a fun time and it was late afternoon when we returned home. Dick had spent the afternoon taking Lucy to the playground, library, and just walking around the neighborhood meeting all the dogs and their owners. Kerri and Ron seem to be the only residents out of thousands who don’t have a dog or two or three. Lucy is on first name basis with most of them.

That evening, Kerri and Ron’s comedian friend Tommy came over to say goodbye and Kerri prepared a smorgasbord of all the food they had not eaten from their daily exercise regimen. For the past 4 months, a chef has prepared 3 meals and 2 snacks every day for them and most of the time at least when we were there they had not eaten a good portion of it. So it was an interesting array of healthy food and conversation. After dinner Dick and I finished packing as we were leaving at 6:45 the next morning. We had already shipped 3 boxes home so that tells you that we either received or bought a lot of “stuff” on our trip. We still had 3 big suitcases to check.

As is my habit when I know I have to get up early I don’t sleep well and I wake up at 4:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. I lay there until 5:30 and then got up, showered and dressed. I knew that Kerri, Ron, and Lucy had to leave for exercise at 6:30 so they would be getting up soon as well. Lucy is such an adaptable child and she is always in a good mood when she wakes up even when she has to get up early in the morning. Needless to say it was difficult to say goodbye to her and her parents after 3 weeks with them. We were anxious to be home and sleep in our own bed but we knew we would miss them terribly and especially since we didn’t know when we would see them again. When Lucy wanted to stay with Nana and Rocco and not go with her parents that broke my heart and I considered kidnapping her. Somehow we let them go without me flooding the condo with tears. Then our taxi arrived and we were off to the airport.

We checked in quickly and found our gate with no difficulty. As I had suspected the terminal was a sea of Alabama crimson shirts, hats, and jackets. You see on Thursday night the Alabama football team had beaten Texas to become the Number One team in the country and the fans were making their way to Alabama via Atlanta on our plane. Since it was very early in the morning, they were mostly quiet and subdued, but I did wish I had thought to wear an Auburn shirt or jacket just to see what kind of reaction I would have gotten. Might be just as well that I didn’t since I was definitely outnumbered. Anyway the plane was packed and after everyone was seated, the flight attendant made an announcement over the speaker that welcomed all the Alabama fans and congratulated them on their victory. Well that led to shouts and yells of “Roll Tide’ from almost the entire plane. When they all quieted down I just up and yelled “War Eagle” at the top of my lungs. Well you should have heard the responses which went from “open the door and throw her off the plane” to some others that don’t bear repeating. I want to think that they were all in fun, but I can’t be certain of that since feelings between Auburn and Alabama fans run very deep and have for over a hundred years. At any rate it felt good to say “War Eagle” and I was proud of myself for being so bold. I was sure my Auburn friends would appreciate my courage.

I managed to keep a low profile for the rest of the trip and most of the Alabama fans seemed to be sleeping so I felt safe. Dick slept as usual and I played trivia so the time passed quickly. We were met at the airport by our friend Cliff and after dropping him off at his house and stopping at Chick fil A we arrived home around 7:30 so it had been a long day. The temperature was freezing and we missed the warm sunny weather of California, but were happy to be home. It had been a wonderful 3 weeks with our family with many adventures which we’ll never forget. One day when Lucy is older she can read this account of her second Christmas and say “wow, my Nana is a fantastic writer, but why did she have to make it so long”.

Here’s to you darling Lucy and to many more wonderful Christmases together.

Love,

Nana

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

 

Letters to Lucy - SuperStar!

Dear Love Bug,
It's July 19th and I'm pretty sure this book will have about 10 pages by the time you're ten. Every time I try to get to the computer to write I'm stopped by clothes to clean, food to pick up, diapers to change or an impromptu game of "let's chase Lucy" around the house. Luckily our place isn't that big because you're super duper fast Ms. Mario Andretti. (I know you won't know who that is..look him up in your history book.)

You're literally almost walking. I'm not lying. I knew you were advanced when you rolled over at 3 weeks and started trying to climb out of your crib at 6 months. In fact to this day every time we put you in your crib you immediately make a break for it as if you're about to be put in prison, which is how you refer to any crib or enclosed environment. You're almost 9 months and you not only can cruise all around the furniture unassisted, you can balance all by yourself with no hands. Then you fall down and eat it on the floor. Then you repeat the process. You're a tough little cookie.

Your favorite thing is to go next door and have Uncle Danny hold your hands and let you run around their kitchen over and over and over and over. He has not quit the gym because you're enough cardio. He and Aunt Anne are expecting baby Sydney in a month or so and I'm not sure you're going to like sharing his and Auntie Anne's attention. You've had them all to yourself your whole life. I laugh because Uncle Danny seems terrified of children and babies in general. But when you're around he's the one you want to hang out with. He babysat for you last night and he said all you did was want to run around their place with him holding you for 3 hours and then sit on the couch with him. You won't sit still for many people but when you're over at their place you're totally chill. Ok, maybe it's their big screen TV ? You seem to like the food channel and I hope that parlays into some child genius cooking skills so we can be a well fed family. I'm still not cooking. I have cookbooks out and they sit there and stare at me like some homework assignment I will never get done. Ironically, I'm making your baby food though. I think that's more because I'm cheap and competitive and I want to save money and also brag that I did it homemade to other moms and your Nana especially.

But this walking thing is pretty amazing. I know I'm not supposed to compare your milestones to other babies but everyone does it. And since you're ahead of the curve I'm totally ok with it in this case. I just love it when other moms ask me "Is she crawling yet?" And Dad chimes in like a proud peacock but trying to seem humble "Yes she's also trying to walk by herself" We try to seem like it's no big deal when they ask "How old did you say she was again?" It's fun!

In other cases like weight and height since you are lower on the % , I take no stock in any of those statistics. You are 50% in height and 25% in weight. My friend referred to that as "Average" and we just don't say that word in our house. Ask your dad about his Asian upbringing. There was no average. That's why he's so stinkin' smart! I asked him one time "Honey do you think Asian kids are genetically smarter?" He said "No. Our mothers just beat it into us!" Isn't that sweet? So now I'm that mom. Just Kidding.

But seriously you're awesome. I don't have to push you. You are going to walk by yourself any day now. I, on the other hand, didn't walk till I was 15 months and your father was at least a year old. Yes, I was telling jokes at about 1, but we see where that got me. No health insurance. I used to try harder to get you to talk, but basically you just say" Ba Ba Bu Bu" and that's because you learned that from your friend Alexa. We try to pretend you're saying Ma Ma so we can record it in the baby book that you talked and said your first words. But I can't find any word that sounds like Ba Ba so we're stuck on the talking thing. But that's ok Daddy talks enough for all 3 of us!

We thought for sure you'd be this big talker and fat and lazy like your parents were when we were babies. But you've been a mover and a shaker this whole time. I think you're planning your escape somewhere more exotic than our little home. I'm no more allowed to sit at this computer while you are in the room. It's much more fun for you to make me watch you run around and try to eat things like coffee table handles and pieces of paper that you've stolen from all over the place. Speaking of stealing, you have this obsession with tags. Do all babies have this? You love tags on everything especially clothes. When we took you to Macy's the other day as I was holding you, I noticed you had systematically ripped off the price tags of three items and had them in your hands. If I was raising you to be a thief I'd say you have a bright future. But let's see if we can do something else with those fast hands of yours. How about sculpting? Naa...no way to get scholarship with that. What about cards? Professional gambler? Well your Nana does like the slots, it might be in your blood. Well we have some time still to decide your life's calling and what it is exactly that is going to pay for your college. With your amazing physical agility at such a young age we're now thinking track or cross country running or the ever faithful Korean Irish Italian super model route. You have choices, honey. You have choices!

Love,
Mama

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Monday, June 23, 2008

 

Letters to Lucy - He Snores, She Snores

Dear Little Piggy,

Well he's done it again. Another one of your daddy's traits has made it's way down the gene pool to you, my dear. Yep, you're both in there now snoring away like two little piggies. It's darling when you do it now. But if you follow in his footsteps, I'm afraid your wedding night will be like daddy's when mommy almost smothered his face with a pillow!

It makes me laugh how our children take on our genes and little tendancies. You really do snore little one when you're really tired. But that's ok because as a first time mom it always lets me know you're breathing. I sometimes when you were first born would run into your room in the mornings or in the night to make sure you were breathing.It sounds crazy but I guarantee you'll do it yourself. I even pulled the car over once because you were so quiet in the back seat. So I'll just take this little snoring thing as a gift from God to let me know you're A ok! Now if I could just do the same with your father…

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

 

Letters to Lucy - Working

Dear Munchkin.

I'm trying to be a good mom and write this book so you can have something to look back on and realize that you were loved and cared for and every moment with you was sacred. Well I've done a bang up job so far because every time I think I have something profound to write about I can't make it over to the computer to record it. I'm too busy cleaning spit up out of my couch, washing and drying baby clothes stained with brown iron supplements or most recently chasing you around the house trying to explain in your language why it's not a good idea to chew on electrical cords or eat paper. You're so into eating paper while we were in the security line at LAX airport the other day you ate my boarding pass. Literally you ate it. I felt like a kid with no homework when it was time to show it to the security officer and I was sitting there holding my puppy/baby trying to explain why I didn't have a boarding pass! Nice Lucy..really nice.

Today you are 7 months old and in the past three months I've not done much writing in this so-called book I vowed to author. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I, after all, am a professional writer and I've written entire books before, believe it or not. But something happened after I gave birth you and all of my brain cells have somehow been sucked literally out of my body. I'm sort of a walking robot that breastfeeds and cleans and changes diapers and manages to sing a song or two once in a while and then collapses at the end of a long day and wakes up to do it again. Is this motherhood? Is this what they were talking about when they told me it was the best, most difficult thing I'd ever do? The joke with me is that I've attempted to keep my job. I've attempted to convince other people I can do anything else but be a full-time mom. Because no matter what, every mom is a full time mom. Just some of us are crazy enough to think we can handle other obligations. Maybe some other women can handle it, but I'm going stark raving mad! I love you to pieces and I wouldn't change having your cute little face in my life for anything in the world. And when you become a mom someday you too will wonder how it's all to be done and you'll probably call me and ask "Mom how did you survive?" I'll tell ya when we get there!

Love you.
Mom

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Thursday, April 03, 2008

 

Letters To Lucy - Top Ten Things To Do While Breastfeeding

1. Plan your next vacation-sans children.

2. Wonder who Pamela Anderson and Madonna hired as their "Wet nurses" and how you could get their numbers.

3. Ask God why if women carry the baby why couldn't He have men do the breastfeeding? Then remember it's because men are usually late and would forget to feed the children.

4. Play the minute game with the clock closing your eyes and seeing how close you can come to 60 seconds without peeking.

5. Remember what it was like to wear tiny lacy bras and wonder who Pam Anderson and Madonna hired as plastic surgeons and how you could get their numbers.

6. Think of all the chores that need to be done around the house and shout them off to your spouse loudly one by one starting each sentence with" Honey, since I'm breastfeeding your child could you..."

7. Make important business calls knowing this will be the one time your baby is quiet.

8. Realize your exotic dancing career will probably never happen now and being that you're a woman of great morals rationalize you're ok with this fact.

9. Vow never to do a topless scene in any movie even if Matt Damon is your co-star and the money will send your kids to college.

10. Look lovingly at your baby remembering that you will remind them weekly for the rest of their lives all the sacrifices you've made for them as their mother and they owe you big time!

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Friday, March 28, 2008

 

Letters to Lucy - Home

Lucy,

You won't understand this until you're a mom. But if you met me before you were born you would have seen a Type A (or type triple A as your dad calls me) woman. I was a go-getter. A "get it done" kind of gal. I had multi-tasking down to an impressive science. You name it, I did it! I took lessons, I read books, wrote books, traveled, lunched with friends. I was a woman with goals and those goals got accomplished. Now I can't even seem to find time to bathe! Yes you heard me! Bathing has become somewhat of a luxury activity, one in which the entire time is spent with me peaking out of the shower to glance at the video cam making sure you are still sleeping and alive. I just don't need the papers writing some story about me someday as the mother who took too long a shower and her child got out of the crib and starting eating glue or something.

But today I had chocolate cake for breakfast standing on one leg in the kitchen and forgot to brush my teeth completely. I managed to remember to feed you 30 minutes later than scheduled and now I've realized I lost your baby book that has never even been written in. How's that for "get it done?" I've turned into this walking breast-feeding machine that runs from the couch to the laundry and back to the couch for more feedings and then to the kitchen to clean dishes that have been there for two days. You daddy is a big help I must say. I've convinced him that all men have to do kitchen clean up and dust so he does it. But I just didn't think I'd be so "out of this world" when you were past 3 months old. Surely, I should have the hang of this new role in my life by now right? Not even close. I went back to work in December and you and I did some fun comedy shows together on the road and we made it back alive. Mind you we had "Auntie Karen, Aunt Lilly" and others to help but we made it. It's true when they say," It takes a village to raise a child." I guess they meant you, huh? I know God knew what He was doing when He gave me you. You're so mellow and even in the midst of life's craziness you have this calm cool look in your little blue eyes as if you're saying, "Mommy it's going to be all right!"

I'm a terrible flyer I have to tell you. I get so scared up in the airplanes when it gets bumpy and I keep praying to God to save my life and I make promises that I'll be a better person all the time. I think I've found true religion on many airplanes. But the other day when you were laid out on that little meal tray and our plane began to bump and thump. I was freaking out. I grabbed your dad's arm and tried not to turn it blue from my grip of steel. He just smiled and told me it was going to be all right and then gave me some made up scientific reasons we weren't going to die. I didn't believe him anyway. But in all the up and down bouncing you just laid there right below me with this very collected grin on your face. You stared me right in the eyes the entire time without looking away. I tried to keep calm and you just kept smiling. I could almost read your thoughts. I think you were saying "Mom, we've got this covered. I'm here with you now and it's all going to be ok." Lucy, you as my daughter have that effect on me every day. I came home after we landed and walked into our little home completely exhausted. I looked around and compared to your grandparents 8500 sq foot mansion, our 900 sq ft place looked cluttered and dirty. My type A personality was rearing its ugly head and I started to despair on all the cleaning I'd have to do right that minute.

There were things to put away, bags to unpack, clothes to fold. I was miserable already. Then I looked down, as you gleefully played on our big red couch happy as a clam. You exuded a radiance of pure joy to be in your perfect little home. I know you knew right where you were. You were at peace in all of the clutter. Because you knew you were in a place filled with love. So I threw everything down and played on that big red couch with you and your dad. We all cuddled up and watched two episodes of "I Love Lucy" on the television. Yes I let you watch some TV sometimes and I'm sure all the parenting books will tell me I'm a terrible mom but I don't care. The show had your name in it after all. I felt at peace. I had everything I could ever want and I'm not just saying that. I really felt content. I was happy to be home. Thanks Lucy.

Love,
Mom

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

 

Letters to Lucy - Mommy Magic

Dear Little One,

I realized I have magical powers tonight. You were so sad and crying uncontrollably. People would say you were "teething" or have "baby gas" or a myriad of other issues. But all I know is that when I stuck my pinky finger in your mouth you happily accepted it and then sucked and sucked with all your might. You smiled at me as if to say "Thanks Mom!" and then you closed your eyes in pure bliss and drifted off to dreamland. I realize I have that power in my little finger and also in my very own bosom as you nurse for your food. I can make it all better very quickly. If only I could keep that "magic finger" for when your first boyfriend breaks up with you with a note in gym class, or the other girls don't pick you for their kickball team, or any of the other terrors I fear you will have to face before you make it through adolescence. Oh it can be so hard. I know this from firsthand experience. I pray to God of course you will never have to go through any pain or trial whatsoever. But unless Jesus comes back first I'm pretty convinced every day of your life won't be a total cakewalk.

You'll probably be blessed with my sense of humor which has been described as "inappropriate or lethal wit" at times. That can get you into trouble. The rule of thumb my dear is "sometimes we think things that are funny in our heads but we don't have to say them out loud!" As I watch you sleeping and kiss your forehead. I wish there was a way for me to permanently attach my lips to your soft little brow for the next 20 years or so. I wonder if my mom felt that way about me. I wonder if she thought her kisses could bring healing throughout my childhood and growing up years. I know there is nothing quite like a mother's hug or even now a mother's encouraging words. I think that is why so many daughters just crave to hear the words "I'm so proud you're my daughter" from our moms even when we're all grown up. Because you my dear will always be my little baby.

I will always want to be there to make the bad things in this world go away. I'll use my pinky finger, my lips, my mind or my whole body if needed to shield you from harm and heartache. I wish my kisses could be contracts to promise that you'll never be hurt. But alas I don't think that's completely true. I just wanted you to know as long as I'm able and on this earth. I'll keep kissing you, singing you made up lullabies because I don't know the words to the real ones. I'll keep pulling the car over to make sure you're still breathing in the back seat when you're quiet. I'll keep rocking you at 3:00am and doing whatever I can to make your tears go away, even when you're 33.

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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

 

Letters to Lucy - Sugar Sugar

Dear Lucy,

Here I am again. It's like old times. I'm sneaking into the kitchen reaching to the very back of the freezer to find the Ghirardelli chocolate mint squares that your daddy brought me. I was trying not to eat candy and so I put them far away out of my reach. But I could hear them calling to me tonight. They were calling my name so I had to get out of bed to sample them. On the way to the comedy show last night your Auntie Karen brought dinner. We had Pepperidge Farm Milan Chocolate mint cookies. Then at the show I ate eclairs with chocolate frosting for dinner. Then tonight after dinner of pizza and Coca-Cola I stopped at Starbucks and had a large hot chocolate. This is not good.

I'm supposed to be cutting back on all the bad stuff. I'm working out in the mornings at that beach boot camp for mommies. I'm burning calories and slimming down so I can once again wear my old pants. But I can't seem to get a handle lately on the sugar addiction. Yes that's always been a vice in our family. Your nana and grandpa in Georgia are the worst. They raised me with a major candy addiction because our house was filled with it. Everywhere I looked there would be bowls of M & M's or mini Snickers. I so don't want you to inherit this craving that I always seem to have for chocolate. I call it "stress eating" but I must be stressed a lot because I eat it allllllllllllllll the time!

People tell me to go on a sugar fast but then I say, "what would I eat?" I think you're young enough I can master this bad habit before you're old enough to want to eat like mommy. I do realize all my little treats have been getting into my system and feeding you since you were in the womb and now through my breast milk. I bet my breast milk tastes like chocolate. Lucky you! But I read I'm not supposed to feed you any sugar at all until you're at least one. The other day when daddy was gone and I had eaten some chocolate gooey candy I came back to bed. You saw the leftover morsels on my lips and you were just crying out to me for a kiss. So I gave you a big old "chocolate kiss"! Maybe you tasted some of it then? Who knows? But this madness must stop. I don't want to raise you to be 200 pounds and end up on some talk show about childhood obesity. I don't want to be that tree-hugging, granola-eating, Whole-Foods-market, organic-only-eating mom either. If I raise you like that, you'll end up at some other kids birthday party freaking out the first time you eat cake. I'll come home and you'll be on the ceiling. So there has to be a happy medium.

There's no way you're my kid and you won't love the taste of Godiva chocolate covered cherries. They are healing. That is just a fact. But maybe it won't be so abundant around our house? Maybe I'll shop at Trader Joe's sometimes and get some vegetables for you eat? Maybe I can learn to cook healthy food for you? I really would like that. I would like you to be that kid that actually likes salad. I think most lettuce tastes like soft cardboard but that's just me. In this instance we must re-train our brains and start some better habits. I bet every mom sets out this way when her children are so young. That's why I'm breastfeeding. I want you to have the best nutritional start possible. Also I'm not into the guilt you'd give me later if I didn't at least try to nurse you. But I'm also an avid watcher of the food channel. My new challenge is the actually take some of the healthy information I've gleaned from Rachel Ray and Paula Dean and put it into practice. Ok, seriously who are we kidding? You'll find out someday that there's nothing healthy about Paula Dean's down-home southern cooking. That's why it's so good. But I'll keep trying.

My mom was a great cook and she had some awesome southern recipes that started with a stick of butter and a pound of cheese. She fed me the all-American breakfast when I was a child of Flintstones Fruity Pebbles cereal and a Flintstones multi-vitamin and grape Hi-C. Then in my BeeGee lunch box (They were a great band that mommy used to roller skate to her in basement. Roller-skates were these things with 4 wheels...yikes we'll talk later about history like this). I'd have Grape Hi-C juice box, a hostess chocolate cupcake, peanut butter and jelly on white bread or a ham and Kraft cheese sandwich. I never ate the crusts I would throw them away before I got home. When I came home my snacks would be Fruit Roll Ups, Chips Ahoy cookies Oreos, or whatever else sweet was in the house. We didn't have any huge restrictions on what we snacked on. I always felt sorry for those kids. The ones who's mom's only let them snack on fresh fruit like my friend Kelly would come over and eat a whole box of ice cream and binge at my place. When my dad would come home the first thing he would do was reach for the bag of salt and vinegar potato chips and then drink Coca-Cola from the bottle in the fridge. We weren't allowed to do that but I'd sneak drinks from the bottle anyway when I thought no one was looking. It was a big 2 liter bottle and my dad just drank right from it. I know it's gross but he worked hard all day and no one questioned him. He'd stand in the kitchen and talk to my mom and me about our days munching on potato chips. It was a fun treat when he'd take me to the convenience store sometimes to pick up Salt and Vinegar chips and a video rental. So what do I love to eat now? You guessed it...Salt and Vinegar Chips and M & M's. It's a dream come true when I'm suffering from PMS. I hope you don't suffer from that my dear. But if you do, that'll combo will do ya right up. Sweet and salty never fails. Oh what am I saying? You're not going to eat that stuff. You're going to munch on carrot sticks and other organic specialties that are overpriced at these gourmet markets because we're all convinced that the food they tell us is "organic" is healthier.

I was so stressed today I told your daddy I needed some "mommy time." I was driving around and then I turned into the McDonald's drive through. I thought of you as I ordered my chicken McNuggets. I thought, "I don't want Lucy to like fast food! I don't want her to end up like me with my eating. It's terrible!" I have this relationship with comfort foods from my childhood. It's simple. I find them comforting. I'm sure I could find a way to make something else comforting but I must confess to you I absolutely love McDonalds Chicken McNuggets and their Coca-Cola. I'm also a sucker for a beef mexi-melt at Taco Bell? So should I deprive you of those joys when you are young? I don't know. Am I a bad mom if I don't let you try it? Am I a bad mom if I let you eat it too much and then you become a terrible eater like me? I was raised on "Restaurant Row" as kid. It was McDonald's, Burger King and Long John Silver's on Michigan Ave. I loved all three. I loved going with mommy to Burger Chef too. We had some fun times there.

I try to cook honey but honestly I'm not the best at it "on the fly". I just buy sort of pre-made meals and then eat them on the couch like I did tonight. Dad was gone so I got out the "Stroganoff Steak" and put it in the microwave. It was meant to be served with veggies and some noodles. But I ate it right out of the box it was heated up in. On a scale of 1-10 it was a good solid 6. I don't know the solution. But I've been eating dinners like this for years. When I was single and bored I'd go to the grocery store and by cheap caviar, crackers, expensive cheese and prosciutto and pate. Don't ask me why I'd buy that combination of foods. Maybe I was having my own little party and I wanted to make a platter? I don't know but it was good at the time. But when you grow into eating solid foods I can't have you eating meat out of a box or liver pate on crackers for dinner. I also can't have you eating all the sugar cereal I'm so in love with. I've started buying Gorilla Crunch at Trader Joe's to transition from the Cookie Crisp cereal.

Well I'm trying honey. I really am.

I love you,
Mom

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

 

Oh Baby, Baby

Remember the immortal words of Britney Spears' pop single "Oh Baby Baby, What am I supposed to do?" Who would have thought she'd be taking those lyrics literally as a full-fledged mom of two small children? It's been the talk of Hollywood with the custody battle between Britney and Kevin Federline. I never thought I'd be rooting for Kevin as the better parent but with the recent events surrounding Brit's behavior, he seems to be the lesser of the evils. How sad. Since becoming pregnant with our own little starlet my view of the Hollywood jet-setting parents has become more scrutinizing. I'd like to think these children should be cared for in the same loving manner as any child anywhere would be.

I believe celebrity parents are getting a pass and who is it hurting? After all, they're just kids and they don't care if Mommy is on the cover of magazines and all over television, especially if she's all drugged up at the photo shoot and stealing clothes as in Britney's case. Instead of holding her accountable as an unfit parent, the media decided to make a spectacle of the incident and keep digging deeper for more mistakes. They called her old assistant to get the details of her late night parties. They didn't do this to help her but to sell the story. When is it enough? If this type of woman were your neighbor anywhere else would you not report her to child services? Would you not care what her post-baby abs looked like? It's getting ridiculous the way we're treating celebrity parents such as Nicole Ritchie who will be pregnant in prison and others with kid gloves. No wonder many stars have moved their families outside of Hollywood. Michael Douglas and his family live in the Caribbean. Demi Moore bought a ranch in Idaho and many others have followed that
trend. Is that the answer? Abandon ship? Or is it that we start taking these situations with celebrity parents who are unfit as serious and getting them help. And I'm not talking 30 days in a posh rehab center.

The best punishment for someone like Britney would be that she would be forced out of the media's watchful eye, banned from producing more records and doing more photo shoots until she gets her act together as a mom. I think we as a culture have made a mockery of motherhood when it comes to these careless, party-loving parents in Hollywood. People magazine brags when a new mom is out at a "Club Premier" 3 weeks after giving birth calling her "A Modern Day Glam Mom!" What about the rest of us up at 3:00 AM breastfeeding who haven't showered in 4 days?

As Christians what is our responsibility, if any, to these pop culture nightmares and how we react to them? Do we just pretend Hollywood and all its debacles don't exist and mind our own business? Do we pray for them? Do we believe our prayers would be fruitful to people that seem so lost? I myself am living here in the thick of it and find that I am getting desensitized to the severity of the possible dangers of these "Glam Babies" might face. I pray I can have a more compassionate heart to take time to pray.

I'm not sure what the answer is but I believe it's important that we as Christians pose the question. What do we do?
We're concerned for children in other countries because they're far worse off than we American's are. I hope we can be concerned for children out here in La La land when we find out their parents are on drugs and neglecting their basic needs as well. It's not the charmed life the E Network makes it out to be.

These are real kids not movie characters and for their sake I pray we take that fact seriously.

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Wednesday, January 02, 2008

 

Happy New Year to Me...Me and Lucy McGehee

Ok admit it, New Year's Eve is anti-climactic. It's this overrated so-called holiday where most of us just make grandiose plans to compensate for the fact that we're obsessing about all we want to accomplish in the new year and all we didn't get done in the one that's passing. We paint on our "Party Smiles" and go to some crowded place and toast with everyone else while secretly wishing we were somewhere else and in some cases with someone else. I know this because for years I've struggled more on this day than any other. It was the cause of many "break downs" evaluating my life and where I was on the journey or my case "Rat Race". If I was single I wished I was married when I was married I wished for a baby and so on. I made 5 pages of detailed resolutions last year in every category of my life from Spiritual to physical and then I lost the notebook. I know I wanted to have a baby in 2007 and also lose 10lbs among other desires. Well this past year I gained 40lbs and one 10.6 oz baby girl.

Instead of going to some lavish party I spent this New Year's Eve with my new daughter. It was me and Lucy McGehee from morning till night. It's actually 5:01AM as I write this. Daddy had to go to Texas so I decided to treat this like a "Snow Day" back when I was a kid. I didn't draw the curtains, I didn't get out of my pj's and Lucy and I had a grand old time watching Lifetime Movies and the Food Channel drifting in and out naps on the couch. It was truly glorious.

Finally at about 4:30 I decided I'd venture out to get us some munchies (ok she's breastfeeding but I didn't want to leave her out of the decision making process. After all she's 9 weeks old). I have to admit most of our trips involved daddy basically doing all the heavy lifting when it comes to car seats, baby slings and strollers. I don't even know how to use our stroller yet unless it's already set up and the baby sling hurts my back. I bought this "wrap" contraption but it's a total mess and when I tried it out it looked like a bad unsafe scarf swaddled around my body and no baby would want to come near it and I don't blame them. I can't believe I spent $70 dollars on that thing just because Tori Spelling had one for her baby! But I was getting hungry so I vowed to myself I could make this trip out alone. I got Lucy in her little "Bear" blanket that I'm sure causes heat rash with all that fur bundled around her in southern California, but I'm a first time mom and I'm obsessed with her being too cold. I got her to the car and with the help of my trusty friend the pacifier she got in her car seat and buckled up and it only took 20 minutes. I'm learning, ok? I spent 10 minutes speculating if the car seat was properly in place before I drove off. Then I realized I didn't bring her sling so I'd have to find a way to carry her in the store. I called my husband in a panic and he told me I could take that car seat thing and put it in the basket. With 10 more minutes of manipulation I got the car seat out and into the shopping cart. I didn't know how I'd fit anything else in there like groceries but I had the baby and we were off. Already I was exhausted. Note to self for first trip out with baby do NOT Venture to the Supermarket at 5:00pm on New Year's eve to fight cart traffic with hundreds of angry savages, I mean shoppers. People were literally jamming the aisles and fighting over the free samples of "Pomegranate Juice" like it was crack cocaine. Ok I was one of them, but that's not the point. I had to show my child the importance of free samples when we shop. It was a mad house and as soon as I'd grab something I'd have to literally stuff it in my purse because her car seat took up the entire cart. This older lady was laughing at me and giving me that "Oh you're new at this " look. She said," Honey, don't you know you can install that car seat on the top of your basket?" I was thinking "Thanks lady, but since you didn't offer to show me how to do it and you're just sitting there smirking I'm going to run you over with my cart and keep stuffing salami in my purse like a shoplifter!" I didn't have time to try to re-install her seat. She was sleeping like a champ through the madness. You'd think these people were preparing for Y2K, whatever that was!

So after an hour of standing in line and $56.00 later I was back in the car driving home. But I kept thinking the car seat wasn't installed correctly so I kept pulling over to make sure the baby wasn't going to fall out of the back seat when I was driving. My cell phone died so I was a nervous wreck. Then I realize it's 7:00pm and my kid hasn't eaten since 3:30. This is a huge no-no and now I was concerned I was starving my child. She's fat as a butterball turkey weighing over 13lbs at 9 weeks but nonetheless, I was convinced she was starving. I, of course, didn't pack any bottles of milk so I was forced to pull into a Fat Burger parking lot and pull the child out of her car seat, which she hated, and into the front passenger seat and breast-feed her in the most awkward of positions. She's so adaptable she fell for it and ate happily for about 5 minutes. I love this kid. She has no idea what she's in for. Then I decided this was ridiculous so I stopped mid-feeding and put her back and drove home to finish feeding her there.

I pulled into my parking garage and realized I had one baby, one diaper bag, one purse and 3 bags of groceries to carry. How did women do this? I don't have a nanny like I always dreamed I would or a personal shopper so it was just me and Lucy and the garage. She was just chillin' in the back seat so I stood back there trying to prioritize what items were refrigerated and needed to be taken inside ASAP. Just then my neighbor Ben pulls in with his friend and I flag him down asking if he can help me. His hands were full of pizza and snacks but he said he'd drop all that off and be right back to help me. I got Lucy out of her seat and began to hold her and sing to her in the garage. I don't know the lyrics to any nursery songs so I usually make something up or revert to something by REO Speed Wagon or Journey because they were comforting to me in my teen years. As I was holding her and Ben was carrying my groceries I started to smell something like burnt popcorn but worse. I didn't know what it was but it was getting worse. Was it Ben? Did something in my bags spoil? The smell became more like bad food and as I examined my bags with my sweet daughter in my hands I felt something warm on the outside of her clothes and I looked down and let's just say "Lucy was expressing herself in free form letting me know her bodily functions were well intact!" This was an intense and large "expression" of her bowel movement abilities and only to be matched when she did the same thing last week on Mommy's new white bed sheets while she was in the middle of diaper changing and talking on the phone. Rookie Mistake.

This foul-smelling explosion was all over the place and I didn't know what to do. Of course then the phone rings and it's Ron and I'm panicking because she always chooses to do these things when he's not home. He calmly told me to take Lucy out of her clothes and get her in the bath. But I hadn't fed her enough. She wasn't bothered by any of this. She's just laying there with the same grin that lady had in the grocery store as if this was somehow funny to her. Ron's telling me" Kerri you can't feed her first. That's gross. You have to wash her off!" I'm saying "Are you sure? Can't I call a neighbor to do this for me? I can't handle this type of clean up alone!" So now I've got the wet slippery baby fully clothed in one hand, phone in the other, on my way to the bathroom but stopping off to warm a bottle of breast milk in the kitchen. I get her in the bathroom and lay her down on the floor on a towel. I realize the bottle is burning in the warmer so I go to leave her and get that. I run back and Ron's talking me through this as if it's a 911 call. He's saying "Kerri, first you need to undress the child. Then you run the water in the baby tub. Then you put the baby in the baby tub using both hands." I got flustered and hung up on him. Where was my mother when I needed her? Georgia, that's way across the country because she thinks California is going to fall into the sea.

So it was just me and Lucy McGehee. I got her bottle and placed it on the counter and it was now scalding hot. I ran the cold water in the sink and dropped it in there. Then I got the tub water all nice and ready and it became readily apparent that I myself had to use the bathroom facilities in a huge way and if I didn't do that immediately we'd both be in trouble. I was after all in a bathroom so this was no problem. Then I realized that the toilet in this bathroom had been broken and was unusable until Ron came home to fix it. Of all days the toilet had to malfunction today! I was like a little kid about to have an "Accident!" I know how Lucy felt but she luckily had a diaper and the luxury of knowing someone would be there to clean her up. I was on my own and it was getting worse. I made a choice and left my laughing child on the towel and bolted like OJ Simpson in the airport to the other bathroom for the fastest trip of my life. I know, I know. Never leave the child, bad parenting 101. I was desperate and she luckily isn't old enough to roll yet. I came back relieved to see her still lying there in all her glory and the smell was so bad it was probably offending all my neighbors. I took off her clothes trying not to get too nauseous at the site and odor. I couldn't stand it so I again took her outfit and hurled it towards our washer next door because I didn't want it in the same room with us. She being the trooper that she is was calm through all of this. The Lord has blessed me with a mellow child because it was the only way we'd both survive. I got her in the tub and did the best I could bathing her and making sure she was all cleaned up. It was quite the scene because my sweater was soaked so I ended up tossing that off as well. So it's me in my sweat pants and nursing bra and her in her bath splashing up a storm kicking like Esther Williams. I tell her she's obviously gifted and already learning to swim. I picture her college scholarship in swimming and allow her to continue soaking me. I take her out finally and drop her all bundled up on the couch and realize she still hasn't eaten enough and now it's 8:10pm.

I managed to find the strength to get a diaper on her and collapse onto the couch and got her to breast-feed with the sounds of "Bobby Flay's Boy Meets Grill" on the TV in the background. Within 5 minutes little Miss Lucy fell fast asleep. I couldn't help but smile. She had a big fat grin on her chubby little face. None of this had phased her at all why should I be surprised? She's just like her daddy "If you feed her and cuddle her she's good to go!" Life is simple when you're 9 weeks old. I could learn a lesson from this girl. We spent the rest of the evening sleeping and watching a Food Channel Marathon. At about 10:00pm when she was done with another feeding, instead of drifting off to sleep as she should have, Lucy decided to perk up and play because she knew mommy needed to laugh and have someone to celebrate with at midnight. I've had a lot of "Midnight celebrations and New Year's kisses", but this one topped them all. We called Daddy on the cell phone and sang and laughed together and Me and Lucy McGehee rang in the New Year just the two of us. Yes, it would have been better if her daddy was with us but he was out making a living for our family so I could enjoy more nights of pure joy and real simple celebration like this one. Not once did I make any resolutions or think about the size of my checkbook or waistline. Me and Lucy McGehee laid on the couch as I munched on peanut butter pretzels and ice cream and soda and she with her breast milk. We were both truly undoubtedly content. Me with my hair frazzled in a sloppy bun and no make up to speak of looked like the most beautiful thing in the world to one young lady and I knew it. Thank you God for miracles like this and giving me hope in all the New Year's past that you know you had a plan for me and it was beyond what I could imagine. You're good God, you're really good! Please help me to remember that as my one real resolution in 2008! You ARE GOOD! Thank you so much!

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