Remember the immortal words of Britney Spears' pop single "Oh Baby Baby, What am I supposed to do?" Who would have thought she'd be taking those lyrics literally as a full-fledged mom of two small children? It's been the talk of Hollywood with the custody battle between Britney and Kevin Federline. I never thought I'd be rooting for Kevin as the better parent but with the recent events surrounding Brit's behavior, he seems to be the lesser of the evils. How sad. Since becoming pregnant with our own little starlet my view of the Hollywood jet-setting parents has become more scrutinizing. I'd like to think these children should be cared for in the same loving manner as any child anywhere would be.
I believe celebrity parents are getting a pass and who is it hurting? After all, they're just kids and they don't care if Mommy is on the cover of magazines and all over television, especially if she's all drugged up at the photo shoot and stealing clothes as in Britney's case. Instead of holding her accountable as an unfit parent, the media decided to make a spectacle of the incident and keep digging deeper for more mistakes. They called her old assistant to get the details of her late night parties. They didn't do this to help her but to sell the story. When is it enough? If this type of woman were your neighbor anywhere else would you not report her to child services? Would you not care what her post-baby abs looked like? It's getting ridiculous the way we're treating celebrity parents such as Nicole Ritchie who will be pregnant in prison and others with kid gloves. No wonder many stars have moved their families outside of Hollywood. Michael Douglas and his family live in the Caribbean. Demi Moore bought a ranch in Idaho and many others have followed that
trend. Is that the answer? Abandon ship? Or is it that we start taking these situations with celebrity parents who are unfit as serious and getting them help. And I'm not talking 30 days in a posh rehab center.
The best punishment for someone like Britney would be that she would be forced out of the media's watchful eye, banned from producing more records and doing more photo shoots until she gets her act together as a mom. I think we as a culture have made a mockery of motherhood when it comes to these careless, party-loving parents in Hollywood. People magazine brags when a new mom is out at a "Club Premier" 3 weeks after giving birth calling her "A Modern Day Glam Mom!" What about the rest of us up at 3:00 AM breastfeeding who haven't showered in 4 days?
As Christians what is our responsibility, if any, to these pop culture nightmares and how we react to them? Do we just pretend Hollywood and all its debacles don't exist and mind our own business? Do we pray for them? Do we believe our prayers would be fruitful to people that seem so lost? I myself am living here in the thick of it and find that I am getting desensitized to the severity of the possible dangers of these "Glam Babies" might face. I pray I can have a more compassionate heart to take time to pray.
I'm not sure what the answer is but I believe it's important that we as Christians pose the question. What do we do?
We're concerned for children in other countries because they're far worse off than we American's are. I hope we can be concerned for children out here in La La land when we find out their parents are on drugs and neglecting their basic needs as well. It's not the charmed life the E Network makes it out to be.
These are real kids not movie characters and for their sake I pray we take that fact seriously.
Labels: Mommyhood, Parenting, pop culture, The Chronicle
I know how much stress this family has been through in the past few years.
My original thought when you see a child subjected to the sexuality that Brittany was at such a young age with her videos displaying her in baby doll sexually provocative clothing, is to say "What were her parents thinking? Then her follow-up video at the age of 18 was called "I'm Your Slave" and she's wearing almost no clothing and writhing around on the floor I can't chalk it up to anything but bad parenting. She obviously didn't have a parent in her life who would tell her these choices would be wrong for her in the long term and she'd be selling herself short as a real performer by using "sex" to sell videos. If her parents were Christian, why would they not point to Christ and God's love her their daughter as a person not as a sex symbol? Brittany started down that slippery slope and sadly never turned back. It has only led her to heartache, drug use and major upheavals in her personal life.
Now we see lightening has struck again with Lynn letting Jamie and her boyfriend live together in her very own basement sleeping together with no problems. Is Lynn reading a different bible than my mom did? My parents told me I'd go to hell if I had sex..but hey at least it worked! Fear works!
Ok ok, maybe there is a happy medium but I'm really sad for Brittany and Jamie and even more heartbroken for their innocent children. When will the chain be broken? Will the third generation now be brought up in the spotlight learning to crave media attention and material things for happiness? I hope not. I'm sure all these little babies want is their mom and dad's and grandma and grandpa's to love them...off camera. No child asks to be on the fast track to fame and grace the cover of every tabloid in America. I'm a new mom myself of a two month old daughter and yes I think everyone should admire her photos and they are subjected to my constant email updates with every new milestone. I'm guilty, but I'm disheartened to see a parent like Lynn sell out her daughter's childhood so they could be "rich and famous"!
I think Lynn has some serious reconsidering to do if she's thinking she should be giving out parenting advice to others. What would her book possibly say that would help moms out there, especially Christian parents? I can't think of anything unless it was re-titled "I Was Wrong" like the famous autobiography by Jim Baker (fallen pastor of the 1980's).
Sad sad sad..that is all this is. The publisher is obviously thinking more about dollar signs than anything right now for them to even consider asking Lynn Spears to write a book on parenting. It's sensationalism and we as Christians can fall prey to that but it's up to us to realize when it happens and hold each other accountable. It's not up to us to make money on someone else's mistakes and publish their memoirs unless there is some serious sense of remorse and a lesson to be learned.
If you want to read a good book about growing up in the business with kids and how the pitfalls can almost ruin a marriage and a family ask Barbara Cameron. Her book "A Full House of Growing Pains" is an honest tale of a Hollywood mom who was just trying to survive. Then when she became a Christian her priorities changed and so did her whole life. Her kids Candace and Kirk have made it through the Hollywood system and grown up into healthy thriving adults.
I think we need to take the entire Spears family and send them back to Louisiana far away from the press and their peering eyes. It must be tough because Mrs. Spears is not alone. Just look at former Pastor Joe Simpson father to Jessica and Ashley. He has had a tough time with some of their career choices such as sexually provocative videos and photo shoots he stands by as just good fun. He's even jokes about his own daughter's cleavage. I don't think that's particularly funny, but rather odd. The point is that it's hard out there for any parent. I just think these parents need to be held accountable if they are calling themselves Christians. They either choose to live by that standard or not. It's not like they can throw it away when there's a lot of money involved. I pray and hope Lynn and her whole family can find some love and support from their friends maybe a home church and get these kids in a stable loving environment.
So my final thought on Lynn Spears book is that if she gets to publish her memoir on parenting. I want to write my "How to balance the National Deficit in Three Easy Steps" by Kerri Pomarolli. Please disregard my own personal finances and anything my husband may tell you. Nordstrom's was having a sale!
Labels: Parenting, pop culture, Spears Family
As I was watching Oprah being interviewed in one of her more private moments in 2007 she was asked what she wanted out of her life. She said, "I want more joy!" Then I turned to People magazine and gazed at Nick Lachey divorced from Jessica Simpson with his new girlfriend whom he's living with bi-coastally in NYC and LA and the couple was saying their goals for 2008 included "More peace within themselves."
I find it funny hearing that because from the outside wouldn't you think someone like Oprah Winfrey could have "Joy" picked, purified and delivered to her door? She's so wealthy there is literally nothing she can't buy. But she doesn't have enough joy and neither do most of the Hollywood celebrities we spend our lives obsessing over. Don't pretend you don't do it. We're all guilty to some degree of daydreaming of the lifestyles of the rich and famous. I'm with you. I mean who wouldn't want exotic vacations, lavish homes and staff that caters to their every need? I always seem to think these people have some secret to a more contented life. They always look so happy and thin don't forget thin!
But at the end of the day these "celebs" lay their heads on the pillow and go to sleep in their fancy beds just like we do. Their sheets may just have higher thread count. And here's the revelation folks, "They are no happier than we are in the long run!" I'll take it a step further and say most of them are so caught up in "the Hollywood machine" their anxiety is so high they're actually unhappy. Why do I bring this to your attention now? Why am I bursting your bubble about your favorite stars? Because I think we all need to stop the hero worship just a little bit, and now is the time to make some changes for the New Year.
I don't know what we can do, but if each one of us took a tiny step back and stopped empowering the media I think we'd be better off. Do we really need to encourage entire programs called "Brittany Spears: What Went Wrong?" Listen, I know it's tempting. I watch those shows like a bad train wreck...sometimes I just can't look away. But I'm trying to make myself a promise not to spend my time listening to speculations about celebs trying to figure out "who's the hottest" in 2008. I really don't care. I don't get more joy living vicariously through imperfect although good-looking strangers. I just think I've been brainwashed by too much entertainment news that I just need to know what's going in Justin Timberlake's love life. Do I? Do you? That's just my food for thought as we start out the New Year and think about what real joy means. I think it all boils down to the little poem I learned in 1st grade: Joy=Jesus, then Others, then Myself. (I don't think it means reading all the tabloids in the supermarket line or at the hair salon.) But I'll leave that for you to figure out for yourself.
Happy New Year!
Labels: Joy, pop culture, The Chronicle
